(no subject)
Character name: Nougami Neuro.
Series: Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro.
Age: Several centuries.
Job: Lowly Assistant to the Greatly Esteemed Detective ______ (position to be filled shortly).
Canon: Take several cups of the paranormal, a generous fisting of gratuitous bloodshed, and an Abbott & Costello's worth of slapstick comedy, then mix it all together in a Bowl of the (Questionably So) Detective Genre to get the Jump manga Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro. There are mysteries! Demons! Domestic violence! ... mystery-eating demons who enjoy domestic violence! Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro clearly has it all, and hey! It's conveniently wrapped up in just two hundred chapters of constant lulz.
The titular star of the manga, Nougami Neuro is a very clever, very cunning, very bastardly demon who has come to the human world in pursuit of his monstrous (pun intended) appetite for puzzles. These omnomnom delicious mysteries are formed when a person commits a malicious act and are consumed after Neuro uses his human partner/slave/dishrag Yako to reveal the true culprit of the crime. In order to avoid probing questions re: his dazzling powers and incredible intellect, Neuro uses Yako as a front, forcing her to play the role of a brilliant high school detective to mask Neuro's true demonic identity. To the outside world, Neuro is just her innocent, long-suffering, definitely-not-from-the-demon-world assistant... who's like seven feet tall and dresses really weird, but PFFT details.
FTR: Despite his insults against and near constant violence toward them, as the series progresses, Neuro does admit to harboring a sort of affection toward mankind. There are two things Neuro has shown actual disgust for: contrived riddles made for his benefit and the mass killing of humans. Neuro refers to his outrage as protecting his food source, but has also admitted that he finds humanity's ability to constantly evolve beyond their perceived limits as impressive.
... but still. To Neuro, this does not in any way elevate humans from being permanently several miles beneath him in every scale, shape, and way possible. Orz.
Sample Entry:
Oh ho. I have arrived in this encampment on schedule, and find I am not wholly disappointed by the mysteries currently within. I would love to report to my teacher, "this trip is already going along greatly, sensei!" But no, she cannot hear me, as teacher is currently holding a space open in the barrier for me with just her body, along with several hundred-pound weights attached to her head, as the undead attack her in every direction. So brave, my sensei. Truly, it is an incredible honor to be able to greet camp in her place. ♥
My esteemed teacher wrote a letter for me to read in place of her presence! Ignore the fact that it is in my hand-writing, I merely dictated her strong words. Bear with me, I may not be able to give justice to them. Ahem.
"To Whom It May Concern, otherwise known as those who should be very appreciative of they are not addressed as 'bipedal cockroaches greatly swayed by shiny gorilla dung,' or 'infinitely lesser beings than even the most mutated of vermin,' or 'moldy dishrags who waste their puzzle-producing potential by remaining indefinitely in a fetid swamp,'"
Well, gracious. Sensei is very cruel, isn't she? But regardless of her personality defects, she continues, "It is most definitely high time to put some purpose into your dreary lives, and what better way to achieve the highest meaning possible than to become a pawn to my esteemed self? Congratulate your pitiable ability to be held against your will, for this camp possibly holds enough mysteries to occupy even the great Highschool Detective Yako. The sense of achievement you may feel upon hearing this is nearly justified. Even as famous as I am, many of the riddles I solve could not be qualified as anything more than a "snack" for my amazing intellect. Despite the incredible potential of humanity (or maybe even because of it) I am still left unsated at the scale of the mysteries I have so far found. Being mere pawns" -- there she goes again, isn't sensei ~awful~? -- "none of you can truly comprehend a hunger for the labyrinths formed to hide a being's evil intent, but! But the good news is that even your weak minds can now be made to understand that satiating my hunger for mysteries, everyone, has just become your first and only priority."
Allow me to speak for my teacher. Sensei senses that the mystery behind the construction of this camp is... substantial. She can sense the several flavorful twists to its plot, the sweetly hidden traps lurking around every bend, and the walls to the maze are thick with a heavy ripeness that can only come with great age. With nearly two decades of time to come to fruition, this puzzle has the potential satisfy... her, of course. Murder, kidnapping, along with these things we humans identify as emotions constantly running on high -- it's an incredible maze weaved by so many different beasts. The humans behind this chaos and sheer mayhem must be very interesting beings to my reacher, considering they have been able to evolve beyond their previous limits and produce something that smells so very, very delicious...
... to sensei, of course. Ah, but she thinks that I am discussing things that your "mere minds are left picking their slug-like noses at in tiny-brained frustration." Before sensei becomes too frustrated at my dilly-dallying in explaining her motives, I will take my leave. I sincerely wish you all -- oh dear. It seems her letter carries some dangerous fumes! Hm. That faintness you're feeling -- quickly, dose some of sensei's personal vapors on your face. I can't apologize enough.
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