Gotta Meet The Plane So I Can Get My Monkey, Teach Him To Be Cool But A Little Bit Funky
Dear Asshat Customer,
In regards to the email you sent requesting that I provide you with revised invoices going back eight weeks, to include information that you already have yet seem to be incapable of understanding in it's current format, I would like to suggest that perhaps you might try removing your head from your ass before I piss away the rest of my day on this pointless undertaking which you are requesting I embark upon.
You know those emails you get every day? Well, I get one too. So do three other people in your company. These emails are where I get the information on how many hours I am billing you for, and it's the way this little arrangement has been working for the past fourteen months. I'm astonished that in the span of those fourteen months, you just now came to the remarkable conclusion that it's my fault that you don't have enough detail about the hours this employee is putting in on the work orders that your company sends him on.
Now just to make sure I'm clear on the situation, you want me to waste my company's time retyping eight weeks worth of time sheets, listing out the details on where this employee was for every hour billed, for every day for the last forty days, on invoices that are already 60 days past due, when you already have the same goddamn time sheets that I will be copying this information from?
Right.
Okay then.
Jolly good.
I would be more than happy to complete this inane task for you on the simple condition that once I have finished, you will allow me to beat the ever-loving shit out of you with one of those brick-in-a-sock thingers and then toss your bleeding and broken body into a nest of rabid chupacabras.
Please let me know if the condition stated above is acceptable to you, and feel free to contact me with any further questions or concerns you may have.
Yours sincerely,
Mischief
~
In regards to the email you sent requesting that I provide you with revised invoices going back eight weeks, to include information that you already have yet seem to be incapable of understanding in it's current format, I would like to suggest that perhaps you might try removing your head from your ass before I piss away the rest of my day on this pointless undertaking which you are requesting I embark upon.
You know those emails you get every day? Well, I get one too. So do three other people in your company. These emails are where I get the information on how many hours I am billing you for, and it's the way this little arrangement has been working for the past fourteen months. I'm astonished that in the span of those fourteen months, you just now came to the remarkable conclusion that it's my fault that you don't have enough detail about the hours this employee is putting in on the work orders that your company sends him on.
Now just to make sure I'm clear on the situation, you want me to waste my company's time retyping eight weeks worth of time sheets, listing out the details on where this employee was for every hour billed, for every day for the last forty days, on invoices that are already 60 days past due, when you already have the same goddamn time sheets that I will be copying this information from?
Right.
Okay then.
Jolly good.
I would be more than happy to complete this inane task for you on the simple condition that once I have finished, you will allow me to beat the ever-loving shit out of you with one of those brick-in-a-sock thingers and then toss your bleeding and broken body into a nest of rabid chupacabras.
Please let me know if the condition stated above is acceptable to you, and feel free to contact me with any further questions or concerns you may have.
Yours sincerely,
Mischief
~