The Worth of Everything (Chapter7/??)
Title: The Worth of Everything
Chapters: 7/??
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Drama, Comedy, Slice of Life
Warnings: Twisted plot
Ratings: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: AoixUruha, RukixUruha, RukixReita, and more^^
Summary: Uruha’s life revolves around Ruki until he met Aoi. Will Uruha let Aoi free him from this continuing lies? Or envelope himself to the world that Ruki created for him?
Disclaimer: I don’t own them… not YET.
Comments: This is my first. Please take it easy on me.
Two buildings facing each other, two men standing on different floors, no matter how much they extended their hands, they’ll never reach each other, for both of them live on different worlds, for both of them sleep on different dreams.
What do you wish for?
Uruha woke up, he saw Ruki sitting beside his bed, sleeping. He got up, not making any sounds. He didn’t want to talk with Ruki. He didn’t even want to see his face. He opened his window trying to calm his thoughts with the sea’s scenery. The water was calling him. He wore his coat and took a walk outside.
Faced with the reality I didn’t want to know about, my heart started to drown.
“Uruha! What are you doing?” a familiar voice called him.
He took another step, the water reached his neck.
“One more step…” Uruha felt that someone pulled his body.
The water leveled to his waist.
“Ruki… It’s all you fault…”
“I know, I know. Hit me! Kill me! Do everything you want, just don’t do this!” Ruki embraced him. “Don’t do this, onegai…”
“Let me go! Don’t touch me!” Uruha cried as he pushed Ruki away. “I hate you! I’ll never forgive everything you’ve done. Stay away from me!”
Another man came and slapped Uruha.
“What are you doing, stupid!” Aoi said.
“Just… let me die.”
“Let’s go. We need to talk.”
Ruki was left in the middle of the sea. This was the fruit of his doings and he knew that no matter how much he regrets it, nothing could erase the pain that he caused to the one he loves the most. Warm hands embraced him from behind. In the middle of the dark cold sea, there existed a pair of hand that gave him a refuge.
“I’m sorry, Ruki. I can’t do anything for you.”
Ruki faced Reita, “I… it’s nothing. Let’s go back.”
“I understand.” Reita was supposed to walk when droplets of water run through his back. “It’s raining.”
“Yeah, it’s raining.”
It wasn’t raining. It’s only Ruki’s tears that kept falling on Reita’s back like rain. His pride couldn’t suppress the weight that he was carrying. Reita knew how hard for Ruki to show his weakness to others. He understood Ruki more than anyone. He had been there even before he met Uruha. He had been Ruki’s accomplice on all his crimes. He stayed with Ruki even at his worst.
“When he told me that he hates me, I wish I could disappear at that very moment. It hurts Reita, it hurts! It hurts more than to be stab a million of times.”
Reita kept silent. If he starts to talk, he won’t be able to hold his tears anymore.
“Why can’t Uruha see me? Why can’t he love me?”
“It’s the same reason why you couldn’t love me.”
Ruki was shocked. The time seemed to stop, he couldn’t move.
“I wish he was you, Reita.”
Uruha pulled his hands from Aoi. He was afraid. The truth that broke him into pieces will definitely have a greater impact if it will come from Aoi’s very lips. He couldn’t imagine what he’ll become if it is Aoi who’ll tell him those words of nightmare. For Uruha, the stars that brightly shined from the sky that night were like thorns that pierce his very being. He wished he could change everything. He wished he didn’t love Aoi. The two kept their distance from each other. They were more than a meter away from each other. Their gazed were the only thing that kept them close.
“Why did you do that? We’re already too far from each other. Why do you want to run farther away from me Uruha?”
“You don’t understand Aoi! You don’t understand how it feels that everything you’ve been living for was stolen in an instant and not even a chance to fight for it was given. My mother is already dead. All this time I was looking for nothing! Everything was deprived from me even you… you who became my reason for living…”
“Shit! I fuckin’ don’t understand! Loving the same sex, loving your own relative… I fuckin’ don’t understand what’s wrong with it! Morality… acceptance… respect… all of them may fuckin’ go to hell! What’s wrong being with you Uruha? What’s wrong of loving the person who made you feel complete for once in your life?”
“We shouldn’t have loved each other; maybe this wouldn’t hurt like this.” Uruha turned back.
“Are you telling me you regret loving me?”
“Meeting the Matsumoto and the Shiroyama became a dark memory to me,” Uruha covered his eyes. “For now, it’s the only truth I could give you. I wish I never met anyone of you.” Uruha slowly walked away.
Aoi just stared at his back as he slowly disappeared from his sight. “If that’s what you want, if that could erase your pain, then I’ll grant it to you my most beloved. I wish I could rewrite my past, if I could then I would, if it would stop you from crying.”
Uruha got back to his own room. He wasn’t prepared on seeing both men. Realizing everything, he felt completely useless. He unconsciously relied too much to others. If Ruki and Aoi were gone, he didn’t know where he would stand. Everything that he had was all given. He didn’t work for it. He felt very ashamed of himself. He didn’t have any right to complain because he was just nothing. He is just one of the Matsumoto’s properties. He is just a shadow of Aoi. Takashima Kouyou is gone a long time ago. He is just Uruha, a person who just have to live for others.
What do you really wish for… Uruha?
“I’ve been waiting for you, Ruki’s birthday present.”
“Byou… I never knew that Ruki have a brother. You seem to know a lot.”
Byou laughed. “You’re really beautiful for a guy. I like that expression you have.” Byou came closer to him. “You wouldn’t know because it’s a secret.”
“Your family has a lot of secret, didn’t you?” Uruha licked Byou’s fingers.
Byou pushed him to the bed. “Don’t do that, you’re more seductive than you think.” He angled Uruha’s face and bit his right ear. “It’s because I’m an illegitimate child like you. I’m a son of a prostitute.”
“So why are you telling me these things?” Uruha ran his tongue to the other’s neck.
Byou was aroused even more. “Why… you ask? It’s because I want you to be mine. Why don’t you come with me on my next trip?”
“And become your sex slave?” Uruha’s feet gently stroked Byou’s crotch. “What good it may bring unto me?”
“I didn’t expect that you’ll be this daring. Let’s just say I could grant all of your wishes.” Byou took Uruha’s coat off. “You swam? Your underwear must be wet too. We should take it off or you’ll get sick.”
“Like you’re concern… then tell me Mr. Genie… what do you think is my wish?” Uruha stopped Byou’s hands from taking off his pants.
“Those people who hurt you… I could make their life more miserable than hell.” Byou grabbed Uruha’s hair. Their faces were so closed that they could feel each other’s breath. “Do you wish for Aoi?”
Uruha licked Byou’s lips. “No, that’s wrong. Do you want me?”
“I want a taste of it.”
“Then… grant my wishes first.” He sat at Byou’s abdomen. “If you really want me, then make me your guitarist.”
Byou kept silent for a moment, “Fine.”
Uruha didn’t expect that quick reply.
“I don’t know what are you planning but playing with you will be interesting. Let me tell you something, the guy named Kai is here to make their band official: Ruki as the vocalist, Reita as the bassist, Kai as the drummer, and your beloved Aoi is their guitarist. Are you sure about joining us instead of them?”
Uruha couldn’t be moved by anything anymore. After all that he discovered, he might not even be surprise if the sun never shines. “That’s perfectly fine.” Uruha stood up.
“I’m not going to be yours until all of my wishes come true.”
What’s my wish?
It’s not revenge for Ruki. It’s not love for Aoi. It’s something for me. I won’t cry anymore. I won’t be affected by anyone. I decided to live my life by my own self and for my own self. I’m sick of being hurt, being played upon, and being just a property. I loved you Aoi and even now I still. Nothing could replace my love for you but being with you would only hurt both of us. What I need now is myself… the me who was lost, the me who disappeared a long time go, I’ll definitely find it. I’ll definitely become stronger that no one would be able to break me. Until then Aoi, let me grow up without you…”
Two buildings facing each other, two men standing on different floors, no matter how much they extended their hands, they’ll never reach each other, for both of them live in different worlds, for both of them sleep on different dreams…
… For now, I could only look upon you from here but someday let’s fall and meet on the same ground.
A/N: Did it move you or just make you hate me more? I think there are only 4 more chapters to go. Please continue to support and leave a comment. It’s something I need to keep me writing (haha^^). I’m feeling so down lately. Give me some encouragement, okay? Or any comment is alright...
Chapters: 7/??
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Drama, Comedy, Slice of Life
Warnings: Twisted plot
Ratings: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: AoixUruha, RukixUruha, RukixReita, and more^^
Summary: Uruha’s life revolves around Ruki until he met Aoi. Will Uruha let Aoi free him from this continuing lies? Or envelope himself to the world that Ruki created for him?
Disclaimer: I don’t own them… not YET.
Comments: This is my first. Please take it easy on me.
Two buildings facing each other, two men standing on different floors, no matter how much they extended their hands, they’ll never reach each other, for both of them live on different worlds, for both of them sleep on different dreams.
What do you wish for?
Uruha woke up, he saw Ruki sitting beside his bed, sleeping. He got up, not making any sounds. He didn’t want to talk with Ruki. He didn’t even want to see his face. He opened his window trying to calm his thoughts with the sea’s scenery. The water was calling him. He wore his coat and took a walk outside.
Faced with the reality I didn’t want to know about, my heart started to drown.
“Uruha! What are you doing?” a familiar voice called him.
He took another step, the water reached his neck.
“One more step…” Uruha felt that someone pulled his body.
The water leveled to his waist.
“Ruki… It’s all you fault…”
“I know, I know. Hit me! Kill me! Do everything you want, just don’t do this!” Ruki embraced him. “Don’t do this, onegai…”
“Let me go! Don’t touch me!” Uruha cried as he pushed Ruki away. “I hate you! I’ll never forgive everything you’ve done. Stay away from me!”
Another man came and slapped Uruha.
“What are you doing, stupid!” Aoi said.
“Just… let me die.”
“Let’s go. We need to talk.”
Ruki was left in the middle of the sea. This was the fruit of his doings and he knew that no matter how much he regrets it, nothing could erase the pain that he caused to the one he loves the most. Warm hands embraced him from behind. In the middle of the dark cold sea, there existed a pair of hand that gave him a refuge.
“I’m sorry, Ruki. I can’t do anything for you.”
Ruki faced Reita, “I… it’s nothing. Let’s go back.”
“I understand.” Reita was supposed to walk when droplets of water run through his back. “It’s raining.”
“Yeah, it’s raining.”
It wasn’t raining. It’s only Ruki’s tears that kept falling on Reita’s back like rain. His pride couldn’t suppress the weight that he was carrying. Reita knew how hard for Ruki to show his weakness to others. He understood Ruki more than anyone. He had been there even before he met Uruha. He had been Ruki’s accomplice on all his crimes. He stayed with Ruki even at his worst.
“When he told me that he hates me, I wish I could disappear at that very moment. It hurts Reita, it hurts! It hurts more than to be stab a million of times.”
Reita kept silent. If he starts to talk, he won’t be able to hold his tears anymore.
“Why can’t Uruha see me? Why can’t he love me?”
“It’s the same reason why you couldn’t love me.”
Ruki was shocked. The time seemed to stop, he couldn’t move.
“I wish he was you, Reita.”
Uruha pulled his hands from Aoi. He was afraid. The truth that broke him into pieces will definitely have a greater impact if it will come from Aoi’s very lips. He couldn’t imagine what he’ll become if it is Aoi who’ll tell him those words of nightmare. For Uruha, the stars that brightly shined from the sky that night were like thorns that pierce his very being. He wished he could change everything. He wished he didn’t love Aoi. The two kept their distance from each other. They were more than a meter away from each other. Their gazed were the only thing that kept them close.
“Why did you do that? We’re already too far from each other. Why do you want to run farther away from me Uruha?”
“You don’t understand Aoi! You don’t understand how it feels that everything you’ve been living for was stolen in an instant and not even a chance to fight for it was given. My mother is already dead. All this time I was looking for nothing! Everything was deprived from me even you… you who became my reason for living…”
“Shit! I fuckin’ don’t understand! Loving the same sex, loving your own relative… I fuckin’ don’t understand what’s wrong with it! Morality… acceptance… respect… all of them may fuckin’ go to hell! What’s wrong being with you Uruha? What’s wrong of loving the person who made you feel complete for once in your life?”
“We shouldn’t have loved each other; maybe this wouldn’t hurt like this.” Uruha turned back.
“Are you telling me you regret loving me?”
“Meeting the Matsumoto and the Shiroyama became a dark memory to me,” Uruha covered his eyes. “For now, it’s the only truth I could give you. I wish I never met anyone of you.” Uruha slowly walked away.
Aoi just stared at his back as he slowly disappeared from his sight. “If that’s what you want, if that could erase your pain, then I’ll grant it to you my most beloved. I wish I could rewrite my past, if I could then I would, if it would stop you from crying.”
Uruha got back to his own room. He wasn’t prepared on seeing both men. Realizing everything, he felt completely useless. He unconsciously relied too much to others. If Ruki and Aoi were gone, he didn’t know where he would stand. Everything that he had was all given. He didn’t work for it. He felt very ashamed of himself. He didn’t have any right to complain because he was just nothing. He is just one of the Matsumoto’s properties. He is just a shadow of Aoi. Takashima Kouyou is gone a long time ago. He is just Uruha, a person who just have to live for others.
What do you really wish for… Uruha?
“I’ve been waiting for you, Ruki’s birthday present.”
“Byou… I never knew that Ruki have a brother. You seem to know a lot.”
Byou laughed. “You’re really beautiful for a guy. I like that expression you have.” Byou came closer to him. “You wouldn’t know because it’s a secret.”
“Your family has a lot of secret, didn’t you?” Uruha licked Byou’s fingers.
Byou pushed him to the bed. “Don’t do that, you’re more seductive than you think.” He angled Uruha’s face and bit his right ear. “It’s because I’m an illegitimate child like you. I’m a son of a prostitute.”
“So why are you telling me these things?” Uruha ran his tongue to the other’s neck.
Byou was aroused even more. “Why… you ask? It’s because I want you to be mine. Why don’t you come with me on my next trip?”
“And become your sex slave?” Uruha’s feet gently stroked Byou’s crotch. “What good it may bring unto me?”
“I didn’t expect that you’ll be this daring. Let’s just say I could grant all of your wishes.” Byou took Uruha’s coat off. “You swam? Your underwear must be wet too. We should take it off or you’ll get sick.”
“Like you’re concern… then tell me Mr. Genie… what do you think is my wish?” Uruha stopped Byou’s hands from taking off his pants.
“Those people who hurt you… I could make their life more miserable than hell.” Byou grabbed Uruha’s hair. Their faces were so closed that they could feel each other’s breath. “Do you wish for Aoi?”
Uruha licked Byou’s lips. “No, that’s wrong. Do you want me?”
“I want a taste of it.”
“Then… grant my wishes first.” He sat at Byou’s abdomen. “If you really want me, then make me your guitarist.”
Byou kept silent for a moment, “Fine.”
Uruha didn’t expect that quick reply.
“I don’t know what are you planning but playing with you will be interesting. Let me tell you something, the guy named Kai is here to make their band official: Ruki as the vocalist, Reita as the bassist, Kai as the drummer, and your beloved Aoi is their guitarist. Are you sure about joining us instead of them?”
Uruha couldn’t be moved by anything anymore. After all that he discovered, he might not even be surprise if the sun never shines. “That’s perfectly fine.” Uruha stood up.
“I’m not going to be yours until all of my wishes come true.”
What’s my wish?
It’s not revenge for Ruki. It’s not love for Aoi. It’s something for me. I won’t cry anymore. I won’t be affected by anyone. I decided to live my life by my own self and for my own self. I’m sick of being hurt, being played upon, and being just a property. I loved you Aoi and even now I still. Nothing could replace my love for you but being with you would only hurt both of us. What I need now is myself… the me who was lost, the me who disappeared a long time go, I’ll definitely find it. I’ll definitely become stronger that no one would be able to break me. Until then Aoi, let me grow up without you…”
Two buildings facing each other, two men standing on different floors, no matter how much they extended their hands, they’ll never reach each other, for both of them live in different worlds, for both of them sleep on different dreams…
… For now, I could only look upon you from here but someday let’s fall and meet on the same ground.
A/N: Did it move you or just make you hate me more? I think there are only 4 more chapters to go. Please continue to support and leave a comment. It’s something I need to keep me writing (haha^^). I’m feeling so down lately. Give me some encouragement, okay? Or any comment is alright...