and i'm practicing you're name so i can say it to your face
so yeah. alexis go ahead and skip this one if you read it all. i think everything in we talked about tonight. but for anyone else interested:
tonight dolorean came over again. pure magic. i love little d. but before he came over, my mom, kristin and i went to starbucks. and on the way there kristin was bitching about the night at the fair and going to alfred and maynrad's house afterwards. and i was like yeah kristin everyone knew you weren't having a good time. (what i wanted to say was that she embarrassed the crap out of me, but i didn't.) so she's like oh so that's what you all did today? went shopping and talked shit on me while i was at work? because i did go shopping with melissa and alexis this afternoon. who, by the way, were 2 of kristin's really good friends in high school who i work with at the vsb. but the key word in there was that they WERE kristin's really good friends. up until kristin got with greg and decided she didn't need friends anymore. and i do spend an awful lot of time with alexis and a little bit with melissa, but it's fun. they're awesome fun people who i really like. it's gotten to the point where they don't think of me as kristin's sister anymore. i'm just katie. i like just being katie. i don't want to feel weird and hang out with my sister's friends because i can't find my own. but therein lies the problem. there are these 2 incredibly cool guys named alfred and maynrad. they are friends with alexis and one night she and i were at the block and alfred called her up and met us there. meeting me. then we went back to his house where i met his roomates maynrad and jason. again, just me and alexis. so fast forward to a few weeks later and i've spent a lot more time with those guys and we all go to a party that kristin attends and meets alfred. when he meets her he's like oh hey you're katie's sister. and that really pissed her off. she is not katie's sister. i am kristin's sister. so whatever. the night of the fair, she finally got to meet maynrad who said oh hey you're katie's sister. ooh big mistake buddy. again with the anger. it's like i understand it to a point. i get how it's weird for her that i hang out with her friends (little side bar though, she's the one who forced me to apply at vsb so i could work with melissa and alexis) and then i made it one step weirder by making friends with alexis' friends. but she's like really pissed off about it. she won't admit it, but trust me, it's true. i want to tell her look, the only reason they think of you as my sister is because i met them first! i actually went somewhere and did something! i'm not like her. she goes to work and she comes home. a big day for kristin is going out to eat dinner with greg. ooh hold me back you party animal. she's 21 years old, not 41. she always says that we just wouldn't understand because we don't have real jobs like her. she sits on her ass in a medical office working for her soon to be mother in law. work doesn't start until 9 am. bull shit. i tried to remind her of the fact that i too used to work 5 days a week in an office doing the exact same thing, but my job started at 7 am. she just tells me that that was in the past. fuck you kristin. and she is so sure that me, alexis, alfred and maynrad can't just be friends. i was laying on maynrad's bad the other night and when we got home she was like what the fuck are you doing just hanging out on that dude's bed. well clearly kristin i was going to strip down and wait for the gang bang to commence. we use his bed because it's bigger. um i was slightly tired and it's commonly refered to as seating. when we got up to leave that night (after she made a complete ass out of herself because it was after midnight and she had to go to her "real job" the next day) alfred hugged me as i was walking out and she very awkardly asked him about his psuedo mystery girlfriend that we all know nothing about. well thanks kristin, because if you hadn't broken up that hug i would have surely boned him that night. no it's never going to happen. they're just 2 guys that are fun to be around so i hang out around them. that's all. it's really quite simple. it's like she knows that she screwed up her life so she's trying to fix mine before i can. have a little faith in me. have some faith in my own self respect and that i'm not going to go hump every dude i meet. i really want to tell her oh hey by the way, i've started having a purely sexual relationship with maynrad so i'm not going to hang out with anyone else. oh yeah, you can't get mad at me for that can you? after all, i am just following in big sis' footsteps. she just pisses me off so much. if you want to hang out and meet people, then hang out and meet people. if you're bored with you're life, do something to change it. don't try and ruin mine because all of a sudden you're so damn hateful. wow this is really long, but i'm really upset. i'm really mad that she's like this now and that she tries to pull this shit with me. i'm not a baby and i'm not incompetent. in fact, i'm way smarter than she is. scary, i know. and i wish i could say that this was all coming from a good place where she's concerned for me and unicorns dance on rainbows while drinking chocolate milk, but it's not. it comes from a dark room with a steel chair and a single lightbulb hanging by a chain sort of place. i bitter place. a vinegar place. uggh. sorry this is so long and boring to everyone who's not me, but it's my journal and i'll bitch all i want. but for now, it's past 2 in the morning so i should just go to bed and try to read more of the da vinci code. whatever. i'm not tired yet, still just angry. yeah, neil!
tonight dolorean came over again. pure magic. i love little d. but before he came over, my mom, kristin and i went to starbucks. and on the way there kristin was bitching about the night at the fair and going to alfred and maynrad's house afterwards. and i was like yeah kristin everyone knew you weren't having a good time. (what i wanted to say was that she embarrassed the crap out of me, but i didn't.) so she's like oh so that's what you all did today? went shopping and talked shit on me while i was at work? because i did go shopping with melissa and alexis this afternoon. who, by the way, were 2 of kristin's really good friends in high school who i work with at the vsb. but the key word in there was that they WERE kristin's really good friends. up until kristin got with greg and decided she didn't need friends anymore. and i do spend an awful lot of time with alexis and a little bit with melissa, but it's fun. they're awesome fun people who i really like. it's gotten to the point where they don't think of me as kristin's sister anymore. i'm just katie. i like just being katie. i don't want to feel weird and hang out with my sister's friends because i can't find my own. but therein lies the problem. there are these 2 incredibly cool guys named alfred and maynrad. they are friends with alexis and one night she and i were at the block and alfred called her up and met us there. meeting me. then we went back to his house where i met his roomates maynrad and jason. again, just me and alexis. so fast forward to a few weeks later and i've spent a lot more time with those guys and we all go to a party that kristin attends and meets alfred. when he meets her he's like oh hey you're katie's sister. and that really pissed her off. she is not katie's sister. i am kristin's sister. so whatever. the night of the fair, she finally got to meet maynrad who said oh hey you're katie's sister. ooh big mistake buddy. again with the anger. it's like i understand it to a point. i get how it's weird for her that i hang out with her friends (little side bar though, she's the one who forced me to apply at vsb so i could work with melissa and alexis) and then i made it one step weirder by making friends with alexis' friends. but she's like really pissed off about it. she won't admit it, but trust me, it's true. i want to tell her look, the only reason they think of you as my sister is because i met them first! i actually went somewhere and did something! i'm not like her. she goes to work and she comes home. a big day for kristin is going out to eat dinner with greg. ooh hold me back you party animal. she's 21 years old, not 41. she always says that we just wouldn't understand because we don't have real jobs like her. she sits on her ass in a medical office working for her soon to be mother in law. work doesn't start until 9 am. bull shit. i tried to remind her of the fact that i too used to work 5 days a week in an office doing the exact same thing, but my job started at 7 am. she just tells me that that was in the past. fuck you kristin. and she is so sure that me, alexis, alfred and maynrad can't just be friends. i was laying on maynrad's bad the other night and when we got home she was like what the fuck are you doing just hanging out on that dude's bed. well clearly kristin i was going to strip down and wait for the gang bang to commence. we use his bed because it's bigger. um i was slightly tired and it's commonly refered to as seating. when we got up to leave that night (after she made a complete ass out of herself because it was after midnight and she had to go to her "real job" the next day) alfred hugged me as i was walking out and she very awkardly asked him about his psuedo mystery girlfriend that we all know nothing about. well thanks kristin, because if you hadn't broken up that hug i would have surely boned him that night. no it's never going to happen. they're just 2 guys that are fun to be around so i hang out around them. that's all. it's really quite simple. it's like she knows that she screwed up her life so she's trying to fix mine before i can. have a little faith in me. have some faith in my own self respect and that i'm not going to go hump every dude i meet. i really want to tell her oh hey by the way, i've started having a purely sexual relationship with maynrad so i'm not going to hang out with anyone else. oh yeah, you can't get mad at me for that can you? after all, i am just following in big sis' footsteps. she just pisses me off so much. if you want to hang out and meet people, then hang out and meet people. if you're bored with you're life, do something to change it. don't try and ruin mine because all of a sudden you're so damn hateful. wow this is really long, but i'm really upset. i'm really mad that she's like this now and that she tries to pull this shit with me. i'm not a baby and i'm not incompetent. in fact, i'm way smarter than she is. scary, i know. and i wish i could say that this was all coming from a good place where she's concerned for me and unicorns dance on rainbows while drinking chocolate milk, but it's not. it comes from a dark room with a steel chair and a single lightbulb hanging by a chain sort of place. i bitter place. a vinegar place. uggh. sorry this is so long and boring to everyone who's not me, but it's my journal and i'll bitch all i want. but for now, it's past 2 in the morning so i should just go to bed and try to read more of the da vinci code. whatever. i'm not tired yet, still just angry. yeah, neil!