Doormat
Ugh i cannot stress how much I hate the feeling of being unwanted or second best, by people who talk to me as if we're "BFFLS." I feel this summer has proven to me exactly who are my true friends, the people who will always have my back and I will always have theirs. No shit talking, no fake attitudes. Randall has told me time and time again that theres no point in hoping someone will come around, if i already have friends who make me truly happy. I want to say "and from thiss point on i will..." but i cant. Im the biggest pushover youll ever meet, and I will hang out with those people who i think are coming around, but every single time is a dissapointment and i find myself going through this declined slope of let downs. It hurts me more than you know. All I can say is that am going to try to prevent this from happening- theres definately no definates. Its undeserved in my case...or at least I think so. Its like im born with this horrible curse to forgive everyone who has every truly truly hurt me and that person doesnt even know I have forgiven them. And so the dissapointment cycle continues.