Flinstones chewable morphine
It's been a long time since I've posted. The webworld and I have a very strong love/hate relationship. Mostly hate, but in the way I hate Bright Eyes.
Okay so I'm really frustrated right now. I feel ridiculous firstly, and secondly confused, and thirdly angry, and fourthly powerless, and fifthly, kind of jaded and ready to give up.
Ridiculous. I feel like one of those artist types who can't function normally without a significant woman in his life. I thought that would sound crazy when I typed it out, but it actually seems more valid now...Ridiculous, that's me.
Confused. There's this girl who was in my humanities class this semester. I could say that I'm very attracted to her, and that I very much enjoy talking to her, in effect being interested in her. She has always been very friendly to me.
A log of friendliness:
On the first day of class she gave me a quart of oil for my car after class because she saw me in the parking lot with my hood up. Acted very friendly and likeable, bordering on flirtatious I would say. Knows more about cars than me (not really saying much, but it was still kind tom-boy hot)
On numerous occasions we would talk for an hour or two after class. Very enjoyable conversations, seemingly enjoyed on both sides.
When I got my wisdom teeth out, she actually sent me a text message that same night saying something to the affect of "I know we're new friends, but you can call me if you need anything." She called me the next night, expressed concern, and giving great conversation.
A log of confusing contradictions:
Impossible to get ahold of on the phone, never returns my calls.
The conversations we have after class are always cut short by her need to study and sleep. She always seems to be busy, which is fine, but as friendly as she is toward me, she can't seem to set like two to four hours aside to hang out. I dont know what to think.
Angry. Last night was our last class period ever. She said she wouldn't be busy tonight, and told me where her last final was getting out. It was just a skip away from mine, so we made plans to hang out. I finished my lit final early and took to studying in the cover nearest her class until her class was supposed to get out. No sign of her. No answer on the phone, no call back. (see powerless).
Maybe her plan is never to see me again. Maybe I am a creep or something. The whole wisdom teeth thing and the way she always acts around me is entirely against that theory. The way she acts when she's not around me is entirely for that theory. (see confusion).
Jaded. Maybe I should just plan never to see her again. Maybe I should forget how much fun I had with her. Crap that makes me angry. Maybe giving up wouldn't make me angry. Maybe if we did start hanging out we never could spend much time together, she really does have a busy schedule. Who knows, it's not like I haven't been a hermit all semester.
Crap.
Okay so I'm really frustrated right now. I feel ridiculous firstly, and secondly confused, and thirdly angry, and fourthly powerless, and fifthly, kind of jaded and ready to give up.
Ridiculous. I feel like one of those artist types who can't function normally without a significant woman in his life. I thought that would sound crazy when I typed it out, but it actually seems more valid now...Ridiculous, that's me.
Confused. There's this girl who was in my humanities class this semester. I could say that I'm very attracted to her, and that I very much enjoy talking to her, in effect being interested in her. She has always been very friendly to me.
A log of friendliness:
On the first day of class she gave me a quart of oil for my car after class because she saw me in the parking lot with my hood up. Acted very friendly and likeable, bordering on flirtatious I would say. Knows more about cars than me (not really saying much, but it was still kind tom-boy hot)
On numerous occasions we would talk for an hour or two after class. Very enjoyable conversations, seemingly enjoyed on both sides.
When I got my wisdom teeth out, she actually sent me a text message that same night saying something to the affect of "I know we're new friends, but you can call me if you need anything." She called me the next night, expressed concern, and giving great conversation.
A log of confusing contradictions:
Impossible to get ahold of on the phone, never returns my calls.
The conversations we have after class are always cut short by her need to study and sleep. She always seems to be busy, which is fine, but as friendly as she is toward me, she can't seem to set like two to four hours aside to hang out. I dont know what to think.
Angry. Last night was our last class period ever. She said she wouldn't be busy tonight, and told me where her last final was getting out. It was just a skip away from mine, so we made plans to hang out. I finished my lit final early and took to studying in the cover nearest her class until her class was supposed to get out. No sign of her. No answer on the phone, no call back. (see powerless).
Maybe her plan is never to see me again. Maybe I am a creep or something. The whole wisdom teeth thing and the way she always acts around me is entirely against that theory. The way she acts when she's not around me is entirely for that theory. (see confusion).
Jaded. Maybe I should just plan never to see her again. Maybe I should forget how much fun I had with her. Crap that makes me angry. Maybe giving up wouldn't make me angry. Maybe if we did start hanging out we never could spend much time together, she really does have a busy schedule. Who knows, it's not like I haven't been a hermit all semester.
Crap.