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Aubrey Anne is a HUGE pain in my ass..this would be the reason why i would be updating cz she threatened not to talk 2 me unless I did and unlike her i care if she doesnt talk 2 me....lol cz shes a meanie and im niice O:) Things have been pretty good lately..umm since i cant remember like 2 weeks back cz its been that long :/haha oops oh well..umm the other day me and ashley chilled w/ brian..my favorite cousin which was pretty cool because i havent chilled w/ him in so0o0 long..we have our dissagreements and our ups and downs but lately hes really surprised me..hes starting to act like the cousin ive always known he could be..i called him when things were rough one night and he was really there for me..it meant A LOT to me :) Things w/ kara, daphne, and nina have been weird..they went 2 ashs work and threw shit @ her car which wasnt cool but me and nina cooled every1 down and decided that its wiicked gay 2 fight..i really miss all of us hanging out as a group and me and ashley even contimplated chillen w/ them one day but then decided it was a bad idea. Surprisingly ive been talking 2 daphne a lot lately..kara im not too crazy about cz it seems as though she jus uses me for ashley and she doesnt really care about me or our friendship ive tried so many times 2 help her and trust her and be her friend and EVERY time she lets me down. Nina i miss chillen w/ and talking to the most..like the first...well second time i met her i felt like we jus clicked and i could talk 2 her bout anything and i always had a fun time chillen w/ her. I Guess youd say what can make me feel this way? my girl my girll...sorry aubrey just played that song and i hadda put it in here lol shes one awesome loser lol :) I wouldve never thought wed be talking and chillen again and we are and i cannot explain how happy i am that we are. Speaking of..we are cilling 2morrow :) were either going to wildcat w/ ashley or were just chillen me and her and then having a sleepover :) :) Either way it should be bunches of fun..what else can u expect when u chill w/ aubrey anne ?? haha The old crew has been chillen more often now..we went to the movies all of us together the other day it was awesome!! me mel rach ashley l and amanda f....i miss those girls so much!! we are all going to the movies again 2morrow 2 see our movie..tha sisterhood 1 but were gunna b missing rachael :( but oh well. Its really awesome that were chillen again. Ashley l and I chilled yesterday and laid back and relaxed and rented movies..that girls a pain but shes pretty cool. Steve..hes been worrying me a lot lately hes not his usual self @ all and i know people cant be happy all the time but it kills me to see him like this..and him not having his liscense and us not talking much isnt helping either..im really worried..i wish theres something anything i can do :/ Ashley and me are good :) shes so0o0 awesome i seriously dont know what i would do w/o her..i kinda get down sumtimes though cz shes an awesome worker and works a lot so shes ALWAYS working and when shes @ work i rarely know what 2 do and i jus end up wishing that she werent working so we could be chilling..im w/ her every moment that she doesnt have work and i dont have basketball literally and when shes not around its weird cz its like were literally attached by the hip and if were not 2gether were talking..my day jus seriously isnt complete unless shes around..shes my bestest friend ever..cz i have her i dont need any other friends really..well besides aubrey cz w/o her who else would i make fun of? lol and its kinda kewl 2 have steve and brian around too. Of course billy too..speaking of..were on good terms w/ eachother but it sucks really bad cz our parents hate us and therefor we cant really see eachother unless we meet sumwhere now which is really hard on us cz i really love him and sumtimes i even think he really loves me. Its been pretty shitty though because this whole weekend and even now i think still hes been @ his older cousins house drinking..and he calls every night between 10-1130 but we only talk for like 2 minutes..yesterday he was REALLY sweet though cz he called and he could tell i was down and he was tryin 2 b there for me and even came online but ended up getting off and coming on later again but by then i was too tired and went 2 sleep and he left me a message telling me how much he loved me and i didnt even know which meant a lot to me...i love him..i hate our situation so0o0 much..it sucks so bad..i really believe if we got to see eachother as much as normal couples do we could work really well and be happy 2gether..then again were not even together right now..but we pretty much both act like it..i love him so0o0 much hell always mean so0o much to me..hes my dorkface..he doesnt trust me that much nemore tho..after the andre thing..but yeah dont really wanna talk bout that...all i hafta say is..i did admit 2 him i was curious like he was about what itd b like if stuff ever happened..but i swear on ashleys life everytime he brought up wanting to hang out i said if we do stuff cant happen..and when i invited him over my intentions were 2 have aubrey there too who i was looking for in the 1st place and truly believed nothing would happen...but it did..n i was to blame for letting it happen..so yeah i was an idiot for going along about the kissing..ahhh dont wanna talk bout it..and now amanda is mad an upset w/ me but can i really blame her? no way in hell..she has EVERY right 2 be hurt and mad at me for it..but i just wish shed believe what i was trying 2 tell her..but its as though no matter what i do or say wont od any good cz i know it wont make the pain go away and to be honest when i think back on this past summer theres pain there cz me and ashley were talking about the time we were fighting and she still hung out w/ her and amanda n joann usta talk shit about me..which hurt pretty bad altough i knew it deep down neways. I miss chillen all of us...me ashley kara daphne and nina as a group we had some pretty awesome times but maybe its better that we dont anymore...idk. I miss chillen w/ nina but i cant seem 2 get myself 2 talk 2 her about it..i feel as though she could care less if we talk or chill...and im afraid of what her reaction would be so i just end up not talkin 2 her about it. I can pretend to hate andre and i can say that i dont really like him..but i cant help but kinda be sad that things ended like this..i was really happy that we were friends again and then this stupid shit ruined it and now weve blocked eachother and arent speaking. I wish we could jus be friends and be cool w/ eachother..like we were last summer..i wish we could just chill w/ every1 and eachother and just have a good time and we can talk like we used 2..he was always there for me either 2 make me smile after a bad day or to just be there 2 make fun of lol i just miss that friendship...and i cant help but hate tha way things are now..but its as though theres not much i can do about it now and maybe prolly its jus better off left alone..which it prolly will be. Panthers had our last tournament this weekend in lowell @ the reily..we went 3-1...i got hur in the first game 2day..in the middle of the second quarter..rachel fell on my knee and it cracked and i tried 2 get up and walk off the court cz they were still playing but on the other side of the floor but it hurt too bad so i ended up goin back on the ground and closed my eyes tight n my coach and kate came over and kate was telling me 2 squeeze her hand as much as it hurt and my dad came over...you have no idea how much respect and gratitude i had for kate when she did that for me...it was incredible...it hurt soo0o0o damn bad though...my dad carried me off tha court and i watched the rest of the game and i was really surprised at the other team how niice they were..they all came over gave me a high five and were saying really niice things..even the other coach and a ref came over...and some parents from my team..they were all really niice. Pretty bummed i didnt get 2 play in my last game though..and i prolly wont be able 2 play summer league for alvirne for a few weeks :( im going 2 the doctors sumtime 2morrow morning 2 see what i did..i hope its nothing serious :/ We had our first game thursday for summer league @ rivier w/ 6 people and beat merrimack 37-40....i did better than i thought i would ;) im nervous about this coming season :/ but yeah...i think i said everything i needed 2 say..wait 1 more thing..or a few..i miss ashley rae so0o0o much me and ashley are going 2 go see her soon :) :) i CANNOT wait its been too long..there is NEVER a dull moment when youre w/ ashley rae !! Also sumtimes wehn brandons name comes up...i get down...cz i hate how things ended up between us too..hes so diff. from the way he usta be..he used 2 care about every1 and how they were and now its as though all he cares about is having fun...which i guess isnt totally a bad thing..i miss chillen w/ him sumtimes..and how we usta be able 2 do nothing and have so0o00 much fun..now its as though he needs 2 do sumthin dumb or xciting 2 have fun...and we never chill..we barely even talk which gets me down..im kinda nervous now cz hes online and since im thinkin bout it..i imed him and asked ever wonder where our friendship went..but knowing him now..i dont think it really matters 2 him..and makes me nervous waiting for his reply..its crazy how much people usta matter 2 you and you mattered 2 them and then the next thing you know..you barely seem 2 talk 2 that person and you seem to mean shit 2 them..cant help but get down about it..w0w its really hitting home riight now..damn..alright well..im gunna go now cz im kinda sad..letsgetkinky1988 (9:59:18 PM): my porn name is Foxy Fuckdoll

gotta love aubrey anne lol