I'm sick of this....
I'm sick of whining and complaining.... I was in a wicked good mood all day.... until I got home from work.... God damn....
so I went to the bank with my brother and cousin cause I needed to deposit some money and my brother had to cash a check and stuff... so we went... and it was fine... then we were gonna go grocery shopping... but I get a phone call and it's my dad.... he needed me to come get his stuff he was out of Pam's house and they were done because she got mad about something that he stated (repeating what someone else had said) (about some chic that he's never even seen being hott). RIDICULOUS! Girls these days.... People, men, women, whatever... saying that someone else is hott doesnt mean that they have any less of feelings for anyone else... I think Matt is hott... but I'm still VERY in love with someone else... I mean... there's a difference between lying and cheating and making a statement... whatever... so they're done... I don't know how long it will last but my dad is home... and no it is not a happy thing... he's abandon us once... why do we want to go through it again? Even though we hate Pam... she can have him... because at this point, he's not really a part of daily life.... and Katie and Mandi (Pam's kids who cat like they hate my father) were bawling because they are so upset that he's leaving... they were in my arms crying... and my dad was crying... ALOT... and it's scary to see your dad cry... even when you don't want it to bother you and hurt you, he's the invinsible man that never breaks down... it's hard as hell... no matter what... he's my dad...
THEN my grandmother came back from the doctor and she has an infection in the breast that they just did surgery on... and that is NOT good. Like it's truely a deadly situation... Even before the infection a misquito bite could have killed her... now it's worse... She really thinks that she's going to die too... esp. since she swore that if my dad ever came back home it would be over her dead body... to tell you the truth, I'm scared to lose her more than anything.... I don't... I can't... not again... I'm not ready to lose someone else that really cares and loves me... someone that makes a difference in my life... I can't do it....
And then we went hunting for a damn air conditioner and I practically had to fight some guy for the one I'd been standing there guarding for the past 10 minutes. It was seriously a race to the air conditioners... and I was afraid to lose some body parts... or have to punch someone in the face... which wouldnt have been so bad actually when I really think about it... lol.
And then there's him.... yes again... drove by him... he waved... I didn't notice... I was on my way to my father's rescue... I don't know... then of course there is the away message right now... not fun... fuck it... we all know who I'm talking about and if he's reading this then so does he... fuck it... it hurts so damn bad I'm putting it in here...
workin 5 to 11. leave a message if you love me. you know who you are. love you SMS!
yeah... tell me that wasn't suppose to be a slap in the face... ok so EVERY one of my away messages is probably a slap in his face but he deserves them. AND he knows how I feel about him! He knows that that is the worst possible thing that he could have done. And he knows that it is impossible for me to just let it go... that hurts....
Every day starts out good and I promise myself that I don't care and I'll be ok. But today got really messed up... and at the end of the night, here I am again, staring at an away message that breaks my heart and talking to Dave about meaningless nothings.... lovely... is this what my life really is now? Because this is not what I want....
so I went to the bank with my brother and cousin cause I needed to deposit some money and my brother had to cash a check and stuff... so we went... and it was fine... then we were gonna go grocery shopping... but I get a phone call and it's my dad.... he needed me to come get his stuff he was out of Pam's house and they were done because she got mad about something that he stated (repeating what someone else had said) (about some chic that he's never even seen being hott). RIDICULOUS! Girls these days.... People, men, women, whatever... saying that someone else is hott doesnt mean that they have any less of feelings for anyone else... I think Matt is hott... but I'm still VERY in love with someone else... I mean... there's a difference between lying and cheating and making a statement... whatever... so they're done... I don't know how long it will last but my dad is home... and no it is not a happy thing... he's abandon us once... why do we want to go through it again? Even though we hate Pam... she can have him... because at this point, he's not really a part of daily life.... and Katie and Mandi (Pam's kids who cat like they hate my father) were bawling because they are so upset that he's leaving... they were in my arms crying... and my dad was crying... ALOT... and it's scary to see your dad cry... even when you don't want it to bother you and hurt you, he's the invinsible man that never breaks down... it's hard as hell... no matter what... he's my dad...
THEN my grandmother came back from the doctor and she has an infection in the breast that they just did surgery on... and that is NOT good. Like it's truely a deadly situation... Even before the infection a misquito bite could have killed her... now it's worse... She really thinks that she's going to die too... esp. since she swore that if my dad ever came back home it would be over her dead body... to tell you the truth, I'm scared to lose her more than anything.... I don't... I can't... not again... I'm not ready to lose someone else that really cares and loves me... someone that makes a difference in my life... I can't do it....
And then we went hunting for a damn air conditioner and I practically had to fight some guy for the one I'd been standing there guarding for the past 10 minutes. It was seriously a race to the air conditioners... and I was afraid to lose some body parts... or have to punch someone in the face... which wouldnt have been so bad actually when I really think about it... lol.
And then there's him.... yes again... drove by him... he waved... I didn't notice... I was on my way to my father's rescue... I don't know... then of course there is the away message right now... not fun... fuck it... we all know who I'm talking about and if he's reading this then so does he... fuck it... it hurts so damn bad I'm putting it in here...
workin 5 to 11. leave a message if you love me. you know who you are. love you SMS!
yeah... tell me that wasn't suppose to be a slap in the face... ok so EVERY one of my away messages is probably a slap in his face but he deserves them. AND he knows how I feel about him! He knows that that is the worst possible thing that he could have done. And he knows that it is impossible for me to just let it go... that hurts....
Every day starts out good and I promise myself that I don't care and I'll be ok. But today got really messed up... and at the end of the night, here I am again, staring at an away message that breaks my heart and talking to Dave about meaningless nothings.... lovely... is this what my life really is now? Because this is not what I want....