(no subject)
Well work last night was interesting... Nick Gayling works with us now... what a fucking hottie! I totally flirted with him all night... and then I got this random pain in my side and I was whining and I said "Andrew I think I might die..." And Nick goes "Well could you do it quickly cause your bitching is annoying." And I turned and looked at him and I was like "EXCUSE ME! I like it better earlier today when you were quiet and afraid to talk! What have I done?" And I stormed off like I was mad even though I knew he was kidding. Then he was like "You know I was kidding right? I was totally kidding." And I was like "ok Nick whatever. You told me to go die so I guess I should just leave you alone" It was hilarious.... but maybe you'd have to be in my position to see how funny it really is. He totally reminds me of Joel... a little too much. I have a feeling if I work with the two of them together too much it could get really really scary....
Like today... ok so Joe B (nope you don't know him) shoved cake it Ryan and Rheanna's faces. Huge thing there. Then Ryan totally CREAMED Rheanna so she freaked and had me put chewed slobbery bubbleicious gum under his door handles in his car. So I took Heather and we did the passenger side and the driver side. I showed Joel and he's like "Hey I had nothing to do with this... " Then Ryan found it at 5:40 and asked Joel about it and he's like "I know nothing...." So naturally they come to me... and I'm bad at hiding practical jokes... anything else I'm all good but not practical jokes... esp. when I do them. So they dragged me (literally) kicking and screaming outside.... put my face in a puddle and then into the dirt to get info. out of me... it didn't work... so they thought that I really didn't know anything.... HA! But as I walked away innocent, they accused 2 innocent people and I just couldn't let them get the torture that I knew I could take... hey they were people that I totally love, I couldn't do it... I have a guilty conscience... and I'm used to the torture like I said... So I fessed up... then Heather couldn't let me go down alone so she came with me... They dragged us outside and wanted to throw us in the dumpster (which is just completely disgusting...) but just made us clean it by 6:00... we had 15 minutes to clean at least 20 pieces of gum out of 2 door handles.... or we were going into the dumpster... Heather picked as much out as she could and we windexed and paper toweled the rest. I was totally finished and they were almost perfect... but Ryan decided it wasn't good enough... So... me... and only me... got picked up by Jeff and Ryan and hauled out to the dumpster... Then Joel and Nick come along to join the parade like the 2 of them couldn't have done it alone or something.... So Jeff and Ryan try to get me in but I'm kicking and screaming at the top of my lungs and I hussled Jeff down... Then Ryan and Joel try and Joel manages (pretty much by himself) to get me halfway in the dumpster and then lets go so all that's left is Ryan because Joel isn't an asshole and I took him down to the ground and made him give up... it was a long fight to the ground and a long fight on the ground cause he wanted me in.... He was begging for Joel and Nick to help but they're like.... um... No... that's terrible... and Nick already owes me from saying I should die so he knew getting on my bad side was not a good idea. So Ryan is meaninglessly wrestling with me on the damn bark mulch ground and then Rheanna runs out and says STOP! I need her clean for work tonight. And I was like it was her idea anyway where then hell was she 20 minutes ago? HELLO?
So then Nick and Joel... who could have warned me and were in on the whole thing try to sneak away while I'm resting... So I take off on a sprint in no way after Nick who was way closer.... but he thought I was gonna kill him so he screamed and jumped off the side walk and I was like "Not you... not yet..." And kept running... that's when Joel heard me and took off.... It was 90 degrees outside and the running and kicking and screaming were WAY too much at this point so I was not about to run after a track star... F that. lol. So basically I just gave him the silent treatment and he pampered me and gave me massages and talked sweetly to me until I gave in. Hey... he gave me enough massages to make any girl give in... lol.
Oh and last night, I bitched Jeff out until he apologized and felt terrible... and then everytime they brought it up again I flipped out and ripped them new ones... so they stopped. I'm a fucking angel.
As for the second half of tonight... not good.... read some text messages on someones phone with some chic... UH.... OOPS! I shouldn't have been doing it anyway but it hurt me more than anything I ever thought possible. They're serious... well trying to be even though I know it's not real. He doesn't even know what love is. So I spent the last 2 hours of work crying the entire time.... with everyone hugging me and touching me and tickling me and trying to make me laugh... yeah.... my eyes glazed over and I gave up that's what happened.... it hurts soooo much. But I'm kinda getting over it now. I'm talking to people like Alana and Joe (who need to just get together because they're telling me about each other and I can't say a damn word... although I'm totally about to play matchmaker) and Dave who really care about me and want to help me through this. Alana is wonderful! She says that I'm wonderful and that I'm not self centered at all and she loves me. lol. And Joe called me suga. lol. that was different. And Dave well....
DaavyCrocket: night:-* (that's Dave... we just had the cutest damn convo ever.)
But anyway.... there was something else I wanted to say.... tomorrow... working 6 - 3... by myself... then I have a meeting at UNHM with my counsler and I'm getting my schedule I believe.... other than that... well who the hell knows....
I wish I could just listen to you all and think that he's not worth it. I wish that it was that easy and I could just say screw you. I wish that I didn't love him but there is nothing I can do. I come to the same conclusion every single day but I have ups and downs.... BAD downs.... short ups... I don't know what to do... and I'm sorry if I'm getting old and annoying with this whole thing. I'm not trying to.... It just fucking sucks.... I hurt... but still with all of you by my side, and beliveing in me... I know I'll be ok. So thank you all yet again... another long entry... another long night ahead. I love you. Good night....
Like today... ok so Joe B (nope you don't know him) shoved cake it Ryan and Rheanna's faces. Huge thing there. Then Ryan totally CREAMED Rheanna so she freaked and had me put chewed slobbery bubbleicious gum under his door handles in his car. So I took Heather and we did the passenger side and the driver side. I showed Joel and he's like "Hey I had nothing to do with this... " Then Ryan found it at 5:40 and asked Joel about it and he's like "I know nothing...." So naturally they come to me... and I'm bad at hiding practical jokes... anything else I'm all good but not practical jokes... esp. when I do them. So they dragged me (literally) kicking and screaming outside.... put my face in a puddle and then into the dirt to get info. out of me... it didn't work... so they thought that I really didn't know anything.... HA! But as I walked away innocent, they accused 2 innocent people and I just couldn't let them get the torture that I knew I could take... hey they were people that I totally love, I couldn't do it... I have a guilty conscience... and I'm used to the torture like I said... So I fessed up... then Heather couldn't let me go down alone so she came with me... They dragged us outside and wanted to throw us in the dumpster (which is just completely disgusting...) but just made us clean it by 6:00... we had 15 minutes to clean at least 20 pieces of gum out of 2 door handles.... or we were going into the dumpster... Heather picked as much out as she could and we windexed and paper toweled the rest. I was totally finished and they were almost perfect... but Ryan decided it wasn't good enough... So... me... and only me... got picked up by Jeff and Ryan and hauled out to the dumpster... Then Joel and Nick come along to join the parade like the 2 of them couldn't have done it alone or something.... So Jeff and Ryan try to get me in but I'm kicking and screaming at the top of my lungs and I hussled Jeff down... Then Ryan and Joel try and Joel manages (pretty much by himself) to get me halfway in the dumpster and then lets go so all that's left is Ryan because Joel isn't an asshole and I took him down to the ground and made him give up... it was a long fight to the ground and a long fight on the ground cause he wanted me in.... He was begging for Joel and Nick to help but they're like.... um... No... that's terrible... and Nick already owes me from saying I should die so he knew getting on my bad side was not a good idea. So Ryan is meaninglessly wrestling with me on the damn bark mulch ground and then Rheanna runs out and says STOP! I need her clean for work tonight. And I was like it was her idea anyway where then hell was she 20 minutes ago? HELLO?
So then Nick and Joel... who could have warned me and were in on the whole thing try to sneak away while I'm resting... So I take off on a sprint in no way after Nick who was way closer.... but he thought I was gonna kill him so he screamed and jumped off the side walk and I was like "Not you... not yet..." And kept running... that's when Joel heard me and took off.... It was 90 degrees outside and the running and kicking and screaming were WAY too much at this point so I was not about to run after a track star... F that. lol. So basically I just gave him the silent treatment and he pampered me and gave me massages and talked sweetly to me until I gave in. Hey... he gave me enough massages to make any girl give in... lol.
Oh and last night, I bitched Jeff out until he apologized and felt terrible... and then everytime they brought it up again I flipped out and ripped them new ones... so they stopped. I'm a fucking angel.
As for the second half of tonight... not good.... read some text messages on someones phone with some chic... UH.... OOPS! I shouldn't have been doing it anyway but it hurt me more than anything I ever thought possible. They're serious... well trying to be even though I know it's not real. He doesn't even know what love is. So I spent the last 2 hours of work crying the entire time.... with everyone hugging me and touching me and tickling me and trying to make me laugh... yeah.... my eyes glazed over and I gave up that's what happened.... it hurts soooo much. But I'm kinda getting over it now. I'm talking to people like Alana and Joe (who need to just get together because they're telling me about each other and I can't say a damn word... although I'm totally about to play matchmaker) and Dave who really care about me and want to help me through this. Alana is wonderful! She says that I'm wonderful and that I'm not self centered at all and she loves me. lol. And Joe called me suga. lol. that was different. And Dave well....
DaavyCrocket: night:-* (that's Dave... we just had the cutest damn convo ever.)
But anyway.... there was something else I wanted to say.... tomorrow... working 6 - 3... by myself... then I have a meeting at UNHM with my counsler and I'm getting my schedule I believe.... other than that... well who the hell knows....
I wish I could just listen to you all and think that he's not worth it. I wish that it was that easy and I could just say screw you. I wish that I didn't love him but there is nothing I can do. I come to the same conclusion every single day but I have ups and downs.... BAD downs.... short ups... I don't know what to do... and I'm sorry if I'm getting old and annoying with this whole thing. I'm not trying to.... It just fucking sucks.... I hurt... but still with all of you by my side, and beliveing in me... I know I'll be ok. So thank you all yet again... another long entry... another long night ahead. I love you. Good night....