excuse my ineloquence
i had dream last night and i can already feel myself forgetting, as often times happen with dreams. but it was all to strange to let this happen, thus, i am writing it down, or rather, posting it to livejournal
i was in lucians house (but it wasnt his real house, just in my dream) and it was after he had passed away and i suppose i could say that i was taking myself on a tour through his pain of sorts. in this dream i was walking and looking through what was sort of like a living or closet space or a combination and the walls were covered with images, i dont remember what these images were but the overall feeling was just pain, emotional pain that he had (in my dream because it doenst fit with how happy he seemed at the end of his life) been feeling and i felt it all so strongly in myself. at some point in viewing and feeling all these things my eyes wandered up to see almost like a corpse on the ceiling but the image was not detailed in my dream and so didnt disturb me in the natural reaction sense that you would usually get from seeing something like that. it was more like this corpse was a manifestation or symbol of all this pain and again i felt it all so strongly in myself. it was too much to handle so laid down on the floor in the fetal position and just tried to breath and not concentrate on anything and just keep feeling. and then he was there, lying on the floor next to me, looking at me and gently pushing my hair back behind my ear over and over again. it was not a romantic scenario, but just so incredibly comforting. my heart will always be heavy with love for you, lucian.
i was in lucians house (but it wasnt his real house, just in my dream) and it was after he had passed away and i suppose i could say that i was taking myself on a tour through his pain of sorts. in this dream i was walking and looking through what was sort of like a living or closet space or a combination and the walls were covered with images, i dont remember what these images were but the overall feeling was just pain, emotional pain that he had (in my dream because it doenst fit with how happy he seemed at the end of his life) been feeling and i felt it all so strongly in myself. at some point in viewing and feeling all these things my eyes wandered up to see almost like a corpse on the ceiling but the image was not detailed in my dream and so didnt disturb me in the natural reaction sense that you would usually get from seeing something like that. it was more like this corpse was a manifestation or symbol of all this pain and again i felt it all so strongly in myself. it was too much to handle so laid down on the floor in the fetal position and just tried to breath and not concentrate on anything and just keep feeling. and then he was there, lying on the floor next to me, looking at me and gently pushing my hair back behind my ear over and over again. it was not a romantic scenario, but just so incredibly comforting. my heart will always be heavy with love for you, lucian.