if i could scream without my throat rotting, i would

[myhrtisinmotion]

misery.
i am so fucking sick right now.
i cried earlier because it hurt so much and my dad told me i had no reason to whimper and whine.
yes, he's a horrible father, still.
i have to be at work at 3.
if i call in, i get a write-up.
i seriously don't even see how i'm even going to survive the drive TO work.
i'm hungry, and it hurts too much to swallow.
jacob called.
it wasn't a very pleasant conversation.
he did feel bad for me being sick though.
i'm so frustrated.
i've always taken care of those who needed it.
every.single.time.
now i'm sick... and you all know i RARELY get sick...
and i have fucking no one to hold my hair back when i puke.
or to give me orange juice.
or to play with my hair.
or just give me company.
i hate indiana.
i need to be elsewhere.