meltdown
total courtney meltdown.
i can't seem to keep it together.
everything feels like The End Of The World.
yesterday i heard the phone ring. i actually ran away. out the back door, into the alleyway, down the street. no shoes, no makeup, unbrushed hair, no logic or reason.
i'm in the basement, hiding.
still.
i don't know what to do anymore.
i have a job, and since i've been incommmunicado since monday afternoon, i'm not sure i will still have one when/if i finally manage to call in.
am i really about to die of a broken heart?
i'm not sure anymore.
The Fear, it grips me.
breif moments of clarity only seem to make it worse. i have a clear idea of what i need to do, of whast i want to do, of what should get done. it makes it even more frustrating when i can't seem to actually do anything. it's a struggle to get into bed, a struggle to get out of bed, a struggle to get food and eat it, a struggle to stop from gorging myself on bread and margarine once i've started eating.
i'm broken. please fix kthx.
i can't seem to keep it together.
everything feels like The End Of The World.
yesterday i heard the phone ring. i actually ran away. out the back door, into the alleyway, down the street. no shoes, no makeup, unbrushed hair, no logic or reason.
i'm in the basement, hiding.
still.
i don't know what to do anymore.
i have a job, and since i've been incommmunicado since monday afternoon, i'm not sure i will still have one when/if i finally manage to call in.
am i really about to die of a broken heart?
i'm not sure anymore.
The Fear, it grips me.
breif moments of clarity only seem to make it worse. i have a clear idea of what i need to do, of whast i want to do, of what should get done. it makes it even more frustrating when i can't seem to actually do anything. it's a struggle to get into bed, a struggle to get out of bed, a struggle to get food and eat it, a struggle to stop from gorging myself on bread and margarine once i've started eating.
i'm broken. please fix kthx.