And such
So, here' the letter I'm sending to the FHS newspaper. It's about... well, you'll see what it's about. I hope they print it. Just know, "Remember, the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing." is a quote our principal says all the time. That'll help it make more sense.
That that it will totally, but it will help it make more.
To Whom It May Concern,
I am writing this letter because I believe there is a man in this school whose hard work and achievements have been over looked for far too long. This man’s tireless efforts have resulted in a vastly improved learning environment, a more motivated student body and, probably, the downfall of communism. Who is this hard-working individual? Well, I’m ashamed to say, I don’t even know his name. I can tell you though, my friends and I fondly refer to him as, the Yelling Man.
Now the questions you are probably asking are, “Who is the Yelling Man?” and “Why have I never heard of him before, at least not it Fairfax High School’s Newspaper (whose motto is: Remember, the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.)?” and finally, “Without using circular reasoning, what exactly is the main thing?” While I don’t know the answer to the latter two, I will attempt to answer the first question.
The Yelling Man is the person responsible for motivating us all to get to class on time. He is there with his inspirational calls of “WALK AND TALK, WALK AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME!” or, should we have a romantic attachment, “WALK AND TALK AND KISS AT THE SAME TIME!” to encourage us to rise up from where we sit and go to our centers of learning. Now some people call this behavior “irritating” or “obnoxious”, but I consider it to be neither of these. For it is on the days when the Yelling Man is not there that the true impact of his work can be seen.
When the Yelling Man is not there, the scene is truly devastating. We students have no direction in our lives. Do we walk? Do we talk? Do we do it at the same time? The tragic answer is, we don’t know. We wander aimlessly, sometimes walking into walls or bumping into each other. It gets worse though, eventually, we are reduced to crawling around blindly and, finally, curling up into fetal position and twitching occasionally. As one student, who wishes to remain anonymous says, “It’s true, without the Yelling Man, my life would be an endless pit of darkness and despair; I’d never get to class on time!”
So with that, I’d like to close this letter by saying, thank you, thank you Mr. Yelling Man. I’m sure if everyone had a Yelling Man in their lives, they, too, could be walking, talking, contributing members of society and there would be no hunger or war or poverty in this world. You are our beacon of hope, the shining example of what a human being can accomplish if they walk and talk at the same time. Thank you, thank you.
Disclaimer: This was written entirely for entertainment’s sake. It is, under no circumstances, to be taken seriously.
That that it will totally, but it will help it make more.
To Whom It May Concern,
I am writing this letter because I believe there is a man in this school whose hard work and achievements have been over looked for far too long. This man’s tireless efforts have resulted in a vastly improved learning environment, a more motivated student body and, probably, the downfall of communism. Who is this hard-working individual? Well, I’m ashamed to say, I don’t even know his name. I can tell you though, my friends and I fondly refer to him as, the Yelling Man.
Now the questions you are probably asking are, “Who is the Yelling Man?” and “Why have I never heard of him before, at least not it Fairfax High School’s Newspaper (whose motto is: Remember, the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.)?” and finally, “Without using circular reasoning, what exactly is the main thing?” While I don’t know the answer to the latter two, I will attempt to answer the first question.
The Yelling Man is the person responsible for motivating us all to get to class on time. He is there with his inspirational calls of “WALK AND TALK, WALK AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME!” or, should we have a romantic attachment, “WALK AND TALK AND KISS AT THE SAME TIME!” to encourage us to rise up from where we sit and go to our centers of learning. Now some people call this behavior “irritating” or “obnoxious”, but I consider it to be neither of these. For it is on the days when the Yelling Man is not there that the true impact of his work can be seen.
When the Yelling Man is not there, the scene is truly devastating. We students have no direction in our lives. Do we walk? Do we talk? Do we do it at the same time? The tragic answer is, we don’t know. We wander aimlessly, sometimes walking into walls or bumping into each other. It gets worse though, eventually, we are reduced to crawling around blindly and, finally, curling up into fetal position and twitching occasionally. As one student, who wishes to remain anonymous says, “It’s true, without the Yelling Man, my life would be an endless pit of darkness and despair; I’d never get to class on time!”
So with that, I’d like to close this letter by saying, thank you, thank you Mr. Yelling Man. I’m sure if everyone had a Yelling Man in their lives, they, too, could be walking, talking, contributing members of society and there would be no hunger or war or poverty in this world. You are our beacon of hope, the shining example of what a human being can accomplish if they walk and talk at the same time. Thank you, thank you.
Disclaimer: This was written entirely for entertainment’s sake. It is, under no circumstances, to be taken seriously.