Just tell us who you are
You walk straight.
Not like them.
To fool them in.
Make it seem like you're in trouble.
Make a sound.
Fake it enough.
"What made you so scared?"
Maybe you're mistaken for someone who cares.
If you remember, I've been trying to get back to the center.
I'm sure it's not like it was before.
To make them drink.
Tell them it's water.
No one leaves till we figure this out.
Patience, both we and our words are over produced.
By influence.
have you ever wondered about your death? How people would react to it...your family, would they finally realize how they could've made life better, easier. Your friends...who would actually...truly...care? To what extent? Would they build a small memorial and visit it long after the initial drama and social event(s)? Who would pretend they knew you better just to be "in" with the people who did? Who would show up at your funeral? How many people would there be? I'd hope a lot. I'd hope to pack the place out. I'd hope people would hug each other and force tears...maybe by thinking about their old, dead hamster. I wonder if my enemies would show up. Would they spit on my coffin and laugh at the pictures and steal all the mints from the bathrooms. Or would they be remorseful? If not, maybe at least come to terms with their own mortality and the fragility of life...realize how petty situations and silly words really mean so little and aren't worth the guilt they'd feel. Would they apologize for wasting all that time and energy hating a dirty look? Would my parents and friends kick them out?
mainly i wonder how my mom would react. I know she loves me and would be upset, but would she regret all the stupid fights over stupid vacuuming, stupid piercings, the stupid computer and stupid driving with my friends? I think she would...because maybe if she let me do something that brought a smile to my face and placed a good memory in my brain...maybe if she let me live a little...maybe then I wouldn't have killed myself.