a srs post. again.
so no one is really left on livejournal, which is why I feel comfortable posting this publicly. my life has been in shambles for a while now, & it's getting to a breaking point.
I still have no job. my car won't start. still living at Michael's parents' haus, which is awful. no prospects & v. few friends. all this is bad enough, right?
well, on top of everything else, after over eight years together, Michael & I have decided to call it quits. it's my fault/decision, & I am unsure if it's th right one, but it's done. everything has culminated into a festering stagnation & I have been quite unhappy for some time. I need to gain some semblance of independence, because I feel like I never have had any...ever. & having (mutual) feelings for someone else is th catalyst which forced me to realize this. it's still confusing, but I can't make it go away. he lives in Atlanta, about a four-hour drive away, & we are planning a visit around my birthday. I need to get my car fixed, I need to get some cash. if I raise enough $$ I would rather fly than drive, but it's around $110 roundtrip, so I'm unsure if that would be a good idea. I have nothing to sell because everything I own is in storage. I have seriously considered becoming an egg donor, though it has its downsides & it wouldn't be a quick process. but th money is tempting, more & more.
my family can't really help me out too much, my father promised to 'try' to get something done about my car this week, my mum promised to get me a cellphone finally, but otherwise everything falls on me. Michael & I haven't told many people, & we certainly haven't told our families. I am going to continue living here as long as necessary, because I really have nowhere else to go. Michael is still my best friend, he's been incredibly understanding & supportive, though I know how much it must hurt. if I had any form of money saved up, I would probably pick up & leave as soon as I could, but that isn't an option at this stage. though I am still unsure what will happen, I am going to apply to Emory in Atlanta for graduate school; even if things don't work out, I need a new city desperately. & graduate school applications/gre fees/etc. cost a lot of money.
this is all coming down to a plea for donations. anything is better than nothing. blah.
I still have no job. my car won't start. still living at Michael's parents' haus, which is awful. no prospects & v. few friends. all this is bad enough, right?
well, on top of everything else, after over eight years together, Michael & I have decided to call it quits. it's my fault/decision, & I am unsure if it's th right one, but it's done. everything has culminated into a festering stagnation & I have been quite unhappy for some time. I need to gain some semblance of independence, because I feel like I never have had any...ever. & having (mutual) feelings for someone else is th catalyst which forced me to realize this. it's still confusing, but I can't make it go away. he lives in Atlanta, about a four-hour drive away, & we are planning a visit around my birthday. I need to get my car fixed, I need to get some cash. if I raise enough $$ I would rather fly than drive, but it's around $110 roundtrip, so I'm unsure if that would be a good idea. I have nothing to sell because everything I own is in storage. I have seriously considered becoming an egg donor, though it has its downsides & it wouldn't be a quick process. but th money is tempting, more & more.
my family can't really help me out too much, my father promised to 'try' to get something done about my car this week, my mum promised to get me a cellphone finally, but otherwise everything falls on me. Michael & I haven't told many people, & we certainly haven't told our families. I am going to continue living here as long as necessary, because I really have nowhere else to go. Michael is still my best friend, he's been incredibly understanding & supportive, though I know how much it must hurt. if I had any form of money saved up, I would probably pick up & leave as soon as I could, but that isn't an option at this stage. though I am still unsure what will happen, I am going to apply to Emory in Atlanta for graduate school; even if things don't work out, I need a new city desperately. & graduate school applications/gre fees/etc. cost a lot of money.
this is all coming down to a plea for donations. anything is better than nothing. blah.