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I can never seem to maintain honesty long enough.
Anyway, I suppose the conclusion could be drawn that we've established a "habit" or a "pattern".
I suppose you could say that we're sleeping together without a relationship.
This morning, in his arms, I asked him if what we were doing was weird.
"We're just friends with benefits" he said.
Could I have chosen a better candidate? Likely not.
Here is someone I no longer care about in a dating capacity.
Here is someone I don't care if I never sleep with again.
Here is someone who makes me literally & completely indifferent to the sexual act.
So it doesn't matter to me if we don't touch.
So it won't matter if I don't see you for weeks.
So it won't matter when it suddenly ends.
I feel nothing.
Hurray at long last!
I want to tell David "you know why I quit smoking?
It's because I thought you might date me if I did.
Only after we slept together, I realized what a fool I was.
That's why I resumed old habits the next day."
I would tell him this because I want him to fucking crush me between his thumb & index finger.
I want him to brutally destroy me.
I want this, because along with my wellbeing will be that last vestige of hoping.
I don't want to bring about my own end, just that of this juvenile hoping and I don't know any other way to do it.
I remember lying in bed with him on Tuesday, and when it was my turn to answer the question "what are you most afraid of?", I thought and replied "that I'll never lose hope".
Anyway, I suppose the conclusion could be drawn that we've established a "habit" or a "pattern".
I suppose you could say that we're sleeping together without a relationship.
This morning, in his arms, I asked him if what we were doing was weird.
"We're just friends with benefits" he said.
Could I have chosen a better candidate? Likely not.
Here is someone I no longer care about in a dating capacity.
Here is someone I don't care if I never sleep with again.
Here is someone who makes me literally & completely indifferent to the sexual act.
So it doesn't matter to me if we don't touch.
So it won't matter if I don't see you for weeks.
So it won't matter when it suddenly ends.
I feel nothing.
Hurray at long last!
I want to tell David "you know why I quit smoking?
It's because I thought you might date me if I did.
Only after we slept together, I realized what a fool I was.
That's why I resumed old habits the next day."
I would tell him this because I want him to fucking crush me between his thumb & index finger.
I want him to brutally destroy me.
I want this, because along with my wellbeing will be that last vestige of hoping.
I don't want to bring about my own end, just that of this juvenile hoping and I don't know any other way to do it.
I remember lying in bed with him on Tuesday, and when it was my turn to answer the question "what are you most afraid of?", I thought and replied "that I'll never lose hope".