(Untitled)

[myeyesaintblue]

Ed and Hank, Part 21, The day before New Year's Eve

Some stuff ya migh' not be expectin'...
(some good, some bad, some sad)

Note:   Not the shirt-switchin or the final part of how they got together, permanent-like. Some stuff Hank didn't know plus some stuff he didn't expect to be writing about just yet.  It's pretty much all Bill's fault...

Disclaimer

Comments

Love as always!

[joetheone]

The talk between Bill and Hank was great, yes I agree the first time I saw the movie in the theater I could not move from the seat even when the movie was over and the lights up I sat there stunned I did not cry I did not move until the ushers asked me to move when I got to my car I broke down and cried for a time period I do not know then I got out of the car went back in and watched it again. Needless to say this went on until April when the movie finally ended thought I was going to lose my job going to the theater so much and the ushers and the ticket people and the coffee people knew me by name and did not even ask what I wanted just gave me my ticket coffee and off I went and the same thing over and over. Since, I have owned the DVD I cannot watch it, the pain comes up and my bowels ache and I start to have the dry heaves at home I just cannot control the emotions in me. It is only possible to watch now with others around or in public where I can remain composed to some degree, after a year now I cannot quite explain it at

Re: Love as always!

[lalaynia]

I don't want to end up in that small little trailer looking out at those vast plains with wind sweeping through the tall grass and not be able to touch or feel that love again. I want everyone to just sit back and enjoy what they have instead of worrying about what they do not have. I don't know maybe I'm just crazy and the weirdest part I have a large group of friends/aquaintances/family and not one of them feels the same as I do. In this little world we created on Live journal/Ennisjack.com/davecullen/bettermost and other places is the only place I find others who feel similiar to me and it scares me why am I so isolated why am I feeling this and others are not around me. The passion and feelings this movie brings out makes me wonder if I'm insane or just a fool. I try and live each day this past year but each day haunts me more of Brokeback and the stories here and sometimes I think this is wonderful but am I closing myself off from living by being here?Joe

Re: Love as always!

[joetheone]

Joan thank you for your words and yes maybe I should let it be.

Joe

Re: Love as always!

[myeyesaintblue]

Hi Joe, I'm glad you liked it, but I hope this chapter wasn't too unsettling for you. Like Hank, I've only seen the movie once and even though we own the dvd, so far I truly can't bear to watch it again. I'm trying to convince myself to do so though. I admire your strength in everything you've been through and I'm very glad you got away from your violent ex-partner.

I don't feel like I can really add anything to what you and Joan have already said so eloquently, but I do understand your feelings because I share them too, and I don't understand them either. I know it sounds odd, but I sometimes have a harder time explaining how I feel in these comments than Hank does writing the chapters. So many people seem to be able to express how they feel so much better than I ever can. (Like you and Joan)

And, like you said too... "I want to go and yell at the top of my lungs to the entire world you must see this you must learn to accept others for their differences."

Thanks Joe.

Re: Love as always!

[joetheone]

I have slept now and I thank you for your story, I don't know why it brings this out in me to write all of these feelings out. I am usually more reserved but something hits me and I just flow out all of this. Your story always hits me and that is a good thing. Joe

Re: Love as always!

[myeyesaintblue]

Hi Joe,
I think it's good to have a place like this community where you can let down your natural reserve and just let out how you feel among others who feel the same. I wish I were better at that. Thanks for saying their story "always hits" you and that that's a good thing, it's very appreciated.