broken glass in foot
it's amazing what can happen in such a short time period. in all the years i've been with my love, all of those years he's been best friends with ryan, and it's shocking that once that comfortable friend is ripped away, how much he has proved to mean to everyone. what is even more amazing is that in all of that time i never really knew him, more stayed away from him out of intimidation, and in one week i learn more about him then i ever had.
as stupid as this might sound, i want myself to remember it; i realized he's human. he isn't some untouchable god that everyone worships, isn't some crazy above-all character, he just is one of those very few people you meet and find next to no flaws in, the kind of person you want to be around all the time.
i feel a little stupid that this week meant so much to me, but that's who i am. time spent with any person means this much to me, i just want all of this on a page i can reference while he's in iraq, so i can remember.
there are times when i'm around "the group" and all they do is recall old times and how fun they were, incidentally the old times i wasn't a part of. it's fun to hear about, but after so long i become depressingly jealous that i wasn't there to witness the fun. especially when kelly ties into it, or skott's drinking/smoking days. as i was drunk, ryan and i talked about it, talked about life and where it's been and where it's going, and i realized how much he and i feel the same. i wish i had more time to get to know him better.
the point of all of this is, it was harder to see him go then it ever has been, because for the first time i felt a personal attachment. the minute i got to know someone in a way a person rarely gets to know another, i have to see him off. what's even harder is seeing jessica and skott, knowing ryan means so much more to them than i could ever imagine, and they have to watch him go after only a week's time spent with him.
we talked about postponing six flags/disneyland to another summer and going to see ryan in north carolina instead. i really hope that falls through.
what else is amazing, is that in almost 2 and a half collective years together, i don't think i've ever felt as close to skott as i did tonight, and today. he hardly lets me in like this, and i told him things today i normally would hold in and never confess to a soul, albeit small things.
despite all of the lemons that are being handed, somehow lemonade is producing itself, and i'm thankful for that. with all of this sadness around me, my mindset has naturally become to only look forward to the better future to come. i know things are going to get better from here. so many issues have been resolved, and i feel so good about myself and about our relationship, about my connection with my family, and just life in general. it could be pms in its beginning phases, but i want to cry nothing but bittersweet tears.
as stupid as this might sound, i want myself to remember it; i realized he's human. he isn't some untouchable god that everyone worships, isn't some crazy above-all character, he just is one of those very few people you meet and find next to no flaws in, the kind of person you want to be around all the time.
i feel a little stupid that this week meant so much to me, but that's who i am. time spent with any person means this much to me, i just want all of this on a page i can reference while he's in iraq, so i can remember.
there are times when i'm around "the group" and all they do is recall old times and how fun they were, incidentally the old times i wasn't a part of. it's fun to hear about, but after so long i become depressingly jealous that i wasn't there to witness the fun. especially when kelly ties into it, or skott's drinking/smoking days. as i was drunk, ryan and i talked about it, talked about life and where it's been and where it's going, and i realized how much he and i feel the same. i wish i had more time to get to know him better.
the point of all of this is, it was harder to see him go then it ever has been, because for the first time i felt a personal attachment. the minute i got to know someone in a way a person rarely gets to know another, i have to see him off. what's even harder is seeing jessica and skott, knowing ryan means so much more to them than i could ever imagine, and they have to watch him go after only a week's time spent with him.
we talked about postponing six flags/disneyland to another summer and going to see ryan in north carolina instead. i really hope that falls through.
what else is amazing, is that in almost 2 and a half collective years together, i don't think i've ever felt as close to skott as i did tonight, and today. he hardly lets me in like this, and i told him things today i normally would hold in and never confess to a soul, albeit small things.
despite all of the lemons that are being handed, somehow lemonade is producing itself, and i'm thankful for that. with all of this sadness around me, my mindset has naturally become to only look forward to the better future to come. i know things are going to get better from here. so many issues have been resolved, and i feel so good about myself and about our relationship, about my connection with my family, and just life in general. it could be pms in its beginning phases, but i want to cry nothing but bittersweet tears.