Do you notice I'm gone?
Maybe this LJ is turning into my friend. Maybe it's more than that. I think it's getting to where if I ever feel sad or upset, I go here because I feel there is no where else to go, no one else to turn to. :(
I'm not trying to be all emo here, but I think sometimes I am alone. I mean, everyone has someone, or almost everyone. I miss having someone, and what pisses me off the most is that those who have someone make it sound so easy to just give up on that person that made you feel so great once. Well fucking news flash, IT IS HARD. I guess what I am trying to say is that though sometimes and mostly lately, I've been feeling okay, I can't help but look back I mean, it's around that time, where I would have had the best birthday ever. I would have probably been married, (yeah, crazy, I know) and it would have been my first birthday spending it with someone I loved so much, the thought of that not being a possibility really hurts. This LJ is my fall back friend. It's the one that I go to when I feel I have no one else. It hurts because I miss him a lot. :( But I know that it could have never worked simply because he didn't trust me enough. Oh, god, I miss him. Hopefully I can find someone who will make me feel just as great... and will trust me more. someone who won't hurt me the way he did. But for now, I just wish he would come back. I mean, not as my boyfriend, but even as a friend would be great. I miss my best friend. So much...
I'm not trying to be all emo here, but I think sometimes I am alone. I mean, everyone has someone, or almost everyone. I miss having someone, and what pisses me off the most is that those who have someone make it sound so easy to just give up on that person that made you feel so great once. Well fucking news flash, IT IS HARD. I guess what I am trying to say is that though sometimes and mostly lately, I've been feeling okay, I can't help but look back I mean, it's around that time, where I would have had the best birthday ever. I would have probably been married, (yeah, crazy, I know) and it would have been my first birthday spending it with someone I loved so much, the thought of that not being a possibility really hurts. This LJ is my fall back friend. It's the one that I go to when I feel I have no one else. It hurts because I miss him a lot. :( But I know that it could have never worked simply because he didn't trust me enough. Oh, god, I miss him. Hopefully I can find someone who will make me feel just as great... and will trust me more. someone who won't hurt me the way he did. But for now, I just wish he would come back. I mean, not as my boyfriend, but even as a friend would be great. I miss my best friend. So much...