Thank you for making this the best day of my life.
A lot has happened since my last serious post (December 5th).
I'll create a list and then explain:
-No more move out.
-Admitting for the first time that I am depressed (right now).
-Decided I need therapy.
-Countless stupid arguments with my best friends.
No more move out is still a sore subject, so I don't feel the need to explain it, so do not ask me.
Okay, so I have come to terms with the fact that I am depressed. The main reason that I can see is that the most time consuming part of my life at the moment is something I completely hate. I hate school. I hate it so much that the minute I walk out the door to go to school I want to break down and cry. It's not me just being every other kid, it's the fact that I have gone out into the world, saw what it has to offer, listened to what God wants from me, and love it. Imagine going on tour for a whole summer and then going to your senior year. It is very far from easy. And even when I feel like I enjoy school, everyone else is just excelling so far ahead of me, and I am stuck sitting in their dust watching them smile and be happy with what they do. I could get a hundred average in a class and it still won't put a genuine smile on my face. I am sure it would put a fake one there, but it truly will not make me happy.
I need therapy. Badly. My main reason is that I have a lot of theories about how I think, and why I do things, and I need them confirmed or disbarred by a christian who specializes in this.
I am not going to talk about other people on livejournal because that is lame.
I'll create a list and then explain:
-No more move out.
-Admitting for the first time that I am depressed (right now).
-Decided I need therapy.
-Countless stupid arguments with my best friends.
No more move out is still a sore subject, so I don't feel the need to explain it, so do not ask me.
Okay, so I have come to terms with the fact that I am depressed. The main reason that I can see is that the most time consuming part of my life at the moment is something I completely hate. I hate school. I hate it so much that the minute I walk out the door to go to school I want to break down and cry. It's not me just being every other kid, it's the fact that I have gone out into the world, saw what it has to offer, listened to what God wants from me, and love it. Imagine going on tour for a whole summer and then going to your senior year. It is very far from easy. And even when I feel like I enjoy school, everyone else is just excelling so far ahead of me, and I am stuck sitting in their dust watching them smile and be happy with what they do. I could get a hundred average in a class and it still won't put a genuine smile on my face. I am sure it would put a fake one there, but it truly will not make me happy.
I need therapy. Badly. My main reason is that I have a lot of theories about how I think, and why I do things, and I need them confirmed or disbarred by a christian who specializes in this.
I am not going to talk about other people on livejournal because that is lame.