i am in a lost state. i am reading amy tan's the opposite of fate. i'm not very far in it but already i've broken down while reading. the book is striking a sensitive chord right now because she talks of the amazing experiences she had when she was much younger. it is no friggin' wonder she turned out to be a writer, all the weird coincidences and
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I think i know what you're going though. Like your life has no meaning? That you're just floating through day to day?
I guess you have to figure out what you want. Think about it. what brings you the most joy? doesn't matter if its practical or not. then you have to do what you can to achive it. i know that sounds so vague and like i'm just spouting meaningless platitudes but its absolutly true.
and i guess if there are things you don't like about your life you should fix then or realize that you really don't want to put the effort into changing and then know that maybe you don't really dislike that part of your life.
for me i thought i wanted a relationship so bad. to love someone and be loved back in a romantic sense. but then i realized that i wasn't willing to change myself enough to be able to have that sort of relationship with many people. not saying i can't change myself a little. i'm not really a selfish person but i guess i mean that i know that i don't want any old relationship but i want one with a specific kind of person. Someone who wants me for who I am and not what i appear to be. i don't think i could be happy with someone who loves my image.
I don't know if that helps. But that is what has gone on with me and maybe there are similiarites? I'm not that great with words or advice but i think that you are indeed a worthwhile person and what i have known of you i have always liked. you do have very good qualities and i hope that you can see them.
with love,
Brad
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thanks for the advice! <3
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