I'm sorry, I love you.
Title: I’m sorry, I love you.
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Word count: ~600
Summary: Arthur loves Merlin, and Merlin loves him, but sometimes, that’s just not enough.
Warning: Character Death, OOC Merlin
Note: Comments & crits are love, even short ones <3
You’ve only been King for a week when the reports come in. Apparently, strange things have been happening to farmers and animals who enter the woods.
You hear the name “Dragoon the Great” whispered behind hands and closed doors.
Your father’s death at the hands of that old man has hit you hard. You decide that this ‘Dragoon’ has lived one day too many, and set off into the woods with nary a word to your knights, and only Merlin in tow.
Merlin. What was your life like before he came along? You can’t even remember now, only that you're much better off with him. Much better.
How you survived without that obnoxious voice, skinny frame and pointy ears for 20 years of your life, you’ll never know. All you know is, you could never survive without him now.
With your father and Morgana gone, Merlin is your everything.
Sure, you feel a little affection for Guinevere, but it’s like comparing the light of a candle to that of a bonfire.
You hope to one day be able to express to him exactly how you feel, but you don’t know if you’ll ever have the courage.
Uncharacteristically, Merlin does not fight you on this venture into the woods. The whole ride there he is silent, sitting on his horse with a sad look on his face.
..
..
He’s been like that since Uther died. You know that no love was lost between your father and Merlin. It’s hits you again just what a wonderful person Merlin is, that he would grieve for your loss, as if it was his own.
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When you set up camp that night, there are no words between yourself and Merlin. None of the usual chit chat and banter. Neither of you are in the mood for it.
When Merlin has finished preparing dinner, a delicious smelling stew, you grab yourself a bowl, and sit at the fire quietly, contemplating how you got here.
You don’t really believe that this “Dragoon” deliberately killed your father. And you don’t really think that magic is always bad either. It’s like, you only came out here because you felt it’s what you should do.
That it's what you’re father would do.
You decide that tomorrow morning yourself and Merlin will make your way back to the castle. Too many lives have already been lost for your father.
You take a bite of the stew, and turn to give Merlin a small smile, feeling better about yourself after your internal decision.
Merlin doesn’t smile back. If anything, he looks sadder. Tears form in his eyes, as you start to feel dizzy and need to lie down.
It’s strange. You can no longer move or feel your limbs, but you’re not in any pain.
Merlin moves over to you, leaning over your face, his tears dripping on your cheeks.
“I am so sorry Arthur. I am so so sorry. But it’s the only way. If you stay on the throne, then you’ll just rampage around like your father did, killing innocent women and children that you suspect of magic. I can’t let you do that. I can’t let you turn yourself into a bad man. I’m sorry.”
Suddenly, you understand. Merlin poisoned your stew. You feel angry, and then sad, and then a feeling of peace and acceptance rushes through you.
Somehow, you manage to lift up your hand, and place it gently on Merlin’s tear-wet cheek.
“I forgive you. I understand, and I forgive you”.
Merlin looks at you in complete surprise, tears still brimming in those beautiful eyes of his.
“I love you.” You say.
The last thing you see is Merlin’s face screwing up in pain, and you think you may have heard the words
“I love you too”.
A/N: I'm sorry about the angsty ending, but I just had to write it. 10minutes ago I got the inspiration to write this.. so.. I just did it :\ It's been a long time since I posted anything on Livejournal, and I'm fairly certain my writing has gotten better since I last did XD I may actually not end up deleting this little ficlet. Maybe. Possibly. Haha. Comment and Crits are love appreciated :D