Another one for my Justin
Justin, I can't believe your still not here. I miss you a lot and thinking about you. I just opened my e-mail and I had one from your dad. It's nice to have someone that I can talk to and the fact that your dad took the time to write me makes this feel more real. He's sending me a sticker to put on my car to remember you. I wont need a sticker to remember you but will put that sticker on my car and tell everyone how much you truly meant if and when they ask. I want to call you and ask how your doing, I want to smile when you say something off the wall or silly, I want to laugh at how we traveled miles and miles to see some guy (for me you acutally did it for me) I miss you man and want you here with me. I read you memorial page today and everyone else feels the same as I do. It was too early and you shouldn't have been chosen yet to go. You still had a lot to teach me/us There is still too much that I don't know. I know it's all part of some plan and that you are sitting there watching me type this shaking your head, but just know that the world wasn't ready to loose you yet. Where is all the partying that we had planned where is the concerts we should have went to? Where are you looking at me laughing at me, picking on me. Because don't for one minute think I forgot that day at the market out by the hill. There were people out there and that was just wrong, but it was funny and we all laughed. I really have been thinking lately and I don't want to be an adult anymore. I want to go back to when we were at the market every weekend doing our thing, and my biggest problem was weather or not Jay and I would hold hands. GOSH I was a dork and you guys put up with me. We didn't have cars to worry about paying for or jobs that we had to be at at certain times, I did work at the market for a while and you guys laughed at me for making strawberry shortcakes all the time. I couldn't have made it as long as I did if I didn't have you guys hanging out all the time laughing at me because I had strawberrys down the front of me. I want to go sit at the hill and smoke ciggerettes and watch people wander around buying a lot of BS from diffrent vendors at the market. I want to cause some trouble as we were all so good at doing. It's all diffrent now, I have bills and responsblity's and your not here. I can't call you and ask you how your doing even though I know your doing good. The last time I saw you was forever and a day ago, It was right after Robert and I started dating and I took Skylar Rae up to the market. You had to count on your fingers and guess Skylars age to make sure she wasn't mine. How the heck did we all get that seperated from one another. I'll never forget the look on your face that day, as long as I live I'll remember you and your counting and guessing. I really miss you and wish you were here with me. We could take on the world together we could have done it, but it's scary and diffrent now. Everyone has changed and most of it isn't good at least in my eyes. Christy has kids now, but I think I told you all of that before, and I think you got that e-mail. Please stay with me and help me remember you and all of our fun times. My life is better because you were in it. So stay with me and I hope to see you agian maybe in Heaven or another life or something. I'm not sure how that all works, but I'm guessing you must pretty much have it figured out by now. You always knew what was going on even when no one else had a clue. Miss you bunches.