i f*in hate myself
as per the usual, i was doing fine all day, until i had those damn pieces of fruit.. by dinnertime i had only 36 cals worth of whatever.. then i ate 3 more almonds (21).. but by the end of the night i had a salad and onion rings (f*in shoot me), and skyrocketed myself up to 310 cals.. f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.. then i killed my legs and body and played DDR for a little bit to burn SOME of the lard off and burned 235, so my net for the day was WAY over what i wanted.. 75 cals for the day.. ugh
hope tomorrows better, and i can get through the morning with just my coffee then dexatrim, then i got my root canal, so no food, yay.. and maybe one more coffee before bed from work
watching thin now, to try and get some inspi.. good luck girlies, stay strong and beautiful
side note: i was talking to the bf today and he was grabbing my legs, making me feel super embarassed cuz his are so much thinner than mine and i was like, "oh thanks grabbing my fat legs," but he was like "no more like your getting anorexic again," and i didnt know how to feel.. happy that apparently to at least someone they looked skinnier, or worried that now hes gonna watch my every move.. FML
BMI=19 *gross*
cw: 104
plan for tomorrow:
b- coffee and splenda, w a side of dexatrim
l- ciggie, 0 cal sobe, side of dex
d- coffee and splenda and cinn, w a side of caffeine
and on that note.. gnite sweeties
hope tomorrows better, and i can get through the morning with just my coffee then dexatrim, then i got my root canal, so no food, yay.. and maybe one more coffee before bed from work
watching thin now, to try and get some inspi.. good luck girlies, stay strong and beautiful
side note: i was talking to the bf today and he was grabbing my legs, making me feel super embarassed cuz his are so much thinner than mine and i was like, "oh thanks grabbing my fat legs," but he was like "no more like your getting anorexic again," and i didnt know how to feel.. happy that apparently to at least someone they looked skinnier, or worried that now hes gonna watch my every move.. FML
BMI=19 *gross*
cw: 104
plan for tomorrow:
b- coffee and splenda, w a side of dexatrim
l- ciggie, 0 cal sobe, side of dex
d- coffee and splenda and cinn, w a side of caffeine
and on that note.. gnite sweeties