(no subject)
Today I realized why I cannot seriously ship anyone who appears in the Khaavren Romances, and decided to share this with the world.
KARMA PRODUCTIONS
A DIVISION OF BLUNT AND RUDE, LLC.
A WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF GHAZPORK INDUSTRIAL
PRESENTS
"Well, I must say, my dear C______, that it is a curious occasion, though of course not unwelcome, to find you in my bedchamber."
"I should hope that I am not unwelcome! You perceive, I should take it amiss, having gone to some effort to gain entrance, if I were to believe I was unwelcome."
"Not the least in the world! But, well, as to why you have come, that is a mystery to me."
"Truly? It is clear to me."
"Well, I am glad of it, for you perceive, if it were not clear to one of us, then I should suspect some ill intent on the part of one of our enemies."
"My dear D_______, your mind is as keen as ever! But, well, I am clear as to why I have come, so we need not fear ill intent."
"Well, if you say so, then I must believe you."
"And you would do right! But come, you pretend that you have no idea why I have arrived?"
"Not the least in the world. And yet...well, I have been thinking."
"It is good to think."
"As is often the case, we agree, my dear C________. But come, let me explain my thinking, and you shall tell me if I am correct."
"I should like nothing better."
"Then I shall do so."
"And you would do right."
"First, I hardly need mention that you have no purpose in mind harmful to me, for did you but wish a possession of mine, or even my life, well, it is yours."
"Oh, certainly not! Indeed, had you considered such for more than an instant, I should be put out!"
"Not even an instant passed before the thought was rejected, I assure you."
"Well, I am satisfied, but please continue with your thinking."
"As you wish. I perceive that since you have put aside your sword, and moreover, have made no move to claim it, that you do not wish me to entertain you in that way."
"Indeed, your perceptions are entirely accurate."
"Lastly, I have the honor to observe that you have removed your clothing, and have lain upon the bed."
"Again, it is just as you say."
"And therefore, I must conclude that you wish to engage me in that most pleasant of activities, other than war, which two people might perform together."
"My dear D________, it has been an hour since I have wanted anything else."
And that's the point where I start giggling too hard to keep going.
KARMA PRODUCTIONS
A DIVISION OF BLUNT AND RUDE, LLC.
A WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF GHAZPORK INDUSTRIAL
PRESENTS
"Well, I must say, my dear C______, that it is a curious occasion, though of course not unwelcome, to find you in my bedchamber."
"I should hope that I am not unwelcome! You perceive, I should take it amiss, having gone to some effort to gain entrance, if I were to believe I was unwelcome."
"Not the least in the world! But, well, as to why you have come, that is a mystery to me."
"Truly? It is clear to me."
"Well, I am glad of it, for you perceive, if it were not clear to one of us, then I should suspect some ill intent on the part of one of our enemies."
"My dear D_______, your mind is as keen as ever! But, well, I am clear as to why I have come, so we need not fear ill intent."
"Well, if you say so, then I must believe you."
"And you would do right! But come, you pretend that you have no idea why I have arrived?"
"Not the least in the world. And yet...well, I have been thinking."
"It is good to think."
"As is often the case, we agree, my dear C________. But come, let me explain my thinking, and you shall tell me if I am correct."
"I should like nothing better."
"Then I shall do so."
"And you would do right."
"First, I hardly need mention that you have no purpose in mind harmful to me, for did you but wish a possession of mine, or even my life, well, it is yours."
"Oh, certainly not! Indeed, had you considered such for more than an instant, I should be put out!"
"Not even an instant passed before the thought was rejected, I assure you."
"Well, I am satisfied, but please continue with your thinking."
"As you wish. I perceive that since you have put aside your sword, and moreover, have made no move to claim it, that you do not wish me to entertain you in that way."
"Indeed, your perceptions are entirely accurate."
"Lastly, I have the honor to observe that you have removed your clothing, and have lain upon the bed."
"Again, it is just as you say."
"And therefore, I must conclude that you wish to engage me in that most pleasant of activities, other than war, which two people might perform together."
"My dear D________, it has been an hour since I have wanted anything else."
And that's the point where I start giggling too hard to keep going.