Today is ...
Odd.
What a silly thing to write and yet so very true for me. On one hand I feel fairly okay. The babies seem to be good, what you can tell from out here :). My husband has a good job again (and one he really loves doing, which is important. I am really glad he is happy again.) Today has been less hectic than the past few. My headaches and blood sugar have all been on a manageable level. All pointing to what seems to be a good day.
However, on the other hand, a tiff with a friend over my seemingly insensitive remarks has left me in a phunk. how can all the world's frustrations be brought out by one stupid girl and her big mouth? I just don't know, but that's just how it happened. As if I were the mouthpiece for everyone ever known, I am now the reciever of all that has built up.
Maybe I deserve it. Maybe I don't. Either way I have received it and have tried to deal with it accordingly. Still, I see me digging a hole deeper and deeper with every reply. I only meant to explain what I had meant to say, not to be blamed for all the hurt caused by everyone so close to you. Don't you understand? Is it possible to mend the tear that has begun?
I fear not ... and this just makes it worse. I see the hole, I want desperately to stitch it shut, but my thread gets caught and I rip it larger with every stitch. Now it engulfs the delicate silk that was once a tentative friendship ... and all because I couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.
Oh, well, maybe I am over dramatizing. Maybe it doesn't mean as much to the person. Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion ...
Who knows? Only Time, I guess.
What a silly thing to write and yet so very true for me. On one hand I feel fairly okay. The babies seem to be good, what you can tell from out here :). My husband has a good job again (and one he really loves doing, which is important. I am really glad he is happy again.) Today has been less hectic than the past few. My headaches and blood sugar have all been on a manageable level. All pointing to what seems to be a good day.
However, on the other hand, a tiff with a friend over my seemingly insensitive remarks has left me in a phunk. how can all the world's frustrations be brought out by one stupid girl and her big mouth? I just don't know, but that's just how it happened. As if I were the mouthpiece for everyone ever known, I am now the reciever of all that has built up.
Maybe I deserve it. Maybe I don't. Either way I have received it and have tried to deal with it accordingly. Still, I see me digging a hole deeper and deeper with every reply. I only meant to explain what I had meant to say, not to be blamed for all the hurt caused by everyone so close to you. Don't you understand? Is it possible to mend the tear that has begun?
I fear not ... and this just makes it worse. I see the hole, I want desperately to stitch it shut, but my thread gets caught and I rip it larger with every stitch. Now it engulfs the delicate silk that was once a tentative friendship ... and all because I couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.
Oh, well, maybe I am over dramatizing. Maybe it doesn't mean as much to the person. Maybe I am blowing this out of proportion ...
Who knows? Only Time, I guess.