PICSPAM: 5x02 Not Cancer
5x02 - NOT CANCER
Writers: David Shore & Lawrence Kaplow
Director: David Straiton
Original Airdate: Sept. 23, 2008
An organ donor's organs are responsible for the deaths of several patients, and the team work to save the last two recipients. Meanwhile, House hires a private detective to keep tabs on Wilson.
I. You're still gonna say no, aren't you?
[House enters Cuddy's office]
House: Cancer, but not cancer.
[He pauses to let Cuddy's confusion settle in]
House: Doesn't make any sense, unless...
[He hands the CT scan to Cuddy]
House: Brain, but not brain. Occipital lobe's normal, but her eyes suck. That lobe should be compensating. Since it's not, that tells me that something's in there that shouldn't be in there. Brain, but not brain. Is this another instance of House and Cuddy getting dressed together? So coordinated. And let's just stare at House's back for a minute.
Cuddy: Why are you in my office? SEX!
House: To find the anomaly, I need to chop off the top of her head. But, seriously, SEX!
House: Pretty sure I need your approval for that.
Cuddy: I'm gonna trust your first instinct. LOLZ, I remember reading some comments after the s5 sneak peek that this was another demonstration of Cuddy being a doormat -- and then it turns out to be one of her finer moments.
House: I'm not usually confused when you say things like that.
Cuddy: I'm ordering her cancer treatment to be continued.
[House is all *sadface* while Cuddy pulls out a bill and shows it to him]
Cuddy: Why does it cost $2,300 to fix a coffee machine? I'm thinking of all the fake invoices that would need to be made after intense desk!SEX (or, really, all of our various ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL/MARATHON KINKFEST scenarios)
House: Cancer stem cells are real. They explain everything. They're like embryonic stem cells, they can become whatever they want. Donor had them, the recipients got them.
[Voice-over as medical animation plays, showing things that aren't anywhere near as attractive as House and Cuddy. So let's make our own sequence.]
House: They floated around, they landed on an organ, got bathed in cytomes, and partially differentiated. And the key word there is 'partially'. In the tuba player, they became lung, but not lung. In the tennis player, they became heart, but not heart. Stop me if you've figured out the pattern. They looked as if they belonged, but they weren't doing their jobs. And when they were really needed, boom.
House: Chemo worked because cells are basically tumors. Chemo shrunk them.
[Cuddy's not convinced]
House: You're still gonna say no, aren't you?
Cuddy: You've no proof.
House: [motions] I have the brain scan.
Cuddy: The normal brain scan.
House: This is why I need to take off her head.
Cuddy: To treat, or to prove you're right?
House: To treat.
House: Chemo's not killing anything. It's just hiding the real problem. She's gonna crash. If we wait until she does crash, it might be too late.
Cuddy: [It's not looking good.] So, the next step is, what? I say no, and then you do something to make her crash, so that I'll think you've proven your theory?
House: [innocently] I would never do that.
Cuddy: No, you won't.
[House sexfully stares her down for a few seconds.]
[CUT TO: House walking to the patient's room, only to find two security guards posted at the door. ILU CUDDY ♥]
BONUS: The Rubberband Parallel
Because there wasn't nearly enough House/Cuddy in this episode!
5X02 HOUSE / 3X15 CUDDY
5X02 HOUSE / 3X17 CUDDY
Writers: David Shore & Lawrence Kaplow
Director: David Straiton
Original Airdate: Sept. 23, 2008
An organ donor's organs are responsible for the deaths of several patients, and the team work to save the last two recipients. Meanwhile, House hires a private detective to keep tabs on Wilson.
I. You're still gonna say no, aren't you?
[House enters Cuddy's office]
House: Cancer, but not cancer.
[He pauses to let Cuddy's confusion settle in]
House: Doesn't make any sense, unless...
[He hands the CT scan to Cuddy]
House: Brain, but not brain. Occipital lobe's normal, but her eyes suck. That lobe should be compensating. Since it's not, that tells me that something's in there that shouldn't be in there. Brain, but not brain. Is this another instance of House and Cuddy getting dressed together? So coordinated. And let's just stare at House's back for a minute.
Cuddy: Why are you in my office? SEX!
House: To find the anomaly, I need to chop off the top of her head. But, seriously, SEX!
House: Pretty sure I need your approval for that.
Cuddy: I'm gonna trust your first instinct. LOLZ, I remember reading some comments after the s5 sneak peek that this was another demonstration of Cuddy being a doormat -- and then it turns out to be one of her finer moments.
House: I'm not usually confused when you say things like that.
Cuddy: I'm ordering her cancer treatment to be continued.
[House is all *sadface* while Cuddy pulls out a bill and shows it to him]
Cuddy: Why does it cost $2,300 to fix a coffee machine? I'm thinking of all the fake invoices that would need to be made after intense desk!SEX (or, really, all of our various ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL/MARATHON KINKFEST scenarios)
House: Cancer stem cells are real. They explain everything. They're like embryonic stem cells, they can become whatever they want. Donor had them, the recipients got them.
[Voice-over as medical animation plays, showing things that aren't anywhere near as attractive as House and Cuddy. So let's make our own sequence.]
House: They floated around, they landed on an organ, got bathed in cytomes, and partially differentiated. And the key word there is 'partially'. In the tuba player, they became lung, but not lung. In the tennis player, they became heart, but not heart. Stop me if you've figured out the pattern. They looked as if they belonged, but they weren't doing their jobs. And when they were really needed, boom.
House: Chemo worked because cells are basically tumors. Chemo shrunk them.
[Cuddy's not convinced]
House: You're still gonna say no, aren't you?
Cuddy: You've no proof.
House: [motions] I have the brain scan.
Cuddy: The normal brain scan.
House: This is why I need to take off her head.
Cuddy: To treat, or to prove you're right?
House: To treat.
House: Chemo's not killing anything. It's just hiding the real problem. She's gonna crash. If we wait until she does crash, it might be too late.
Cuddy: [It's not looking good.] So, the next step is, what? I say no, and then you do something to make her crash, so that I'll think you've proven your theory?
House: [innocently] I would never do that.
Cuddy: No, you won't.
[House sexfully stares her down for a few seconds.]
[CUT TO: House walking to the patient's room, only to find two security guards posted at the door. ILU CUDDY ♥]
BONUS: The Rubberband Parallel
Because there wasn't nearly enough House/Cuddy in this episode!
5X02 HOUSE / 3X15 CUDDY
5X02 HOUSE / 3X17 CUDDY