...atterns engraved not so easily erased, still wandering trying to find your place...
So, I wrote a version of this a couple years ago. I thought I'd try to revise it. This is what I've come up with, I'll find the link to the old entry if you want to read this first version.
Sliding the black dress over my head I turn to examine myself in the mirror. I catch a glimpse of my chipping blue nail polish. "That needs to go..." I leave my room, head to the bathroom, open the medicine cabinet and grab the nail polish remover. After grabbing a few cotton balls in the closet I walk to the door of my bedroom, plop a spot, and get to work.
The house, now accustomed to being crowded with people, has murmurs of trivial sentiments filling the air. I hear whimpers and sobs coming from the living room and back porch; what a sad state of affairs this life has been in recent days.
Carefully, I take the nail polish off my toes, stroking each one slowly, making sure all of the blue has vanished, and while doing so, I attempt to smile at the people on their way in through the front door. As I load another cotton ball with remover my mind slips into the horrible world of “what if?” I desperately search for something else to occupy my mind, and I try to focus on each toe, with its own shape and size and characteristics; success. Finally, the remains of the blue comes off my last toe, I close the container and return it to the bathroom. The trash can, already overloaded with tissues, becomes the new home to my used cotton balls and I move on to my next task - the attempt to find a decent pair of shoes.
Meekly, I pass through my bedroom door. Mom tells me I look beautiful, and that Teej and I need to leave soon, but she’ll be right behind us. I smile and give her a hug, as I feel it’s my only means of consolation these days. TJ and I trudge out the front door, but I find myself following the grey stone path with detailed examination, instead of carelessly cutting across the yard, as I would normally do. TJ unlocks his car. I slowly open the door, and slip into the passenger seat. I eye the array of air fresheners… it still smells like him. Strap in, sit back. Teej starts the car, and I look out the window, staring at the neighborhood we grew up in; he grew up in. TJ starts to accelerate, puts some zeppelin on, fiddles with his tie, and takes the corner. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the worst possible thing I could have ever imagined...
Do you think it's worthy of an essay contest?
Anything you think could be better?
Sliding the black dress over my head I turn to examine myself in the mirror. I catch a glimpse of my chipping blue nail polish. "That needs to go..." I leave my room, head to the bathroom, open the medicine cabinet and grab the nail polish remover. After grabbing a few cotton balls in the closet I walk to the door of my bedroom, plop a spot, and get to work.
The house, now accustomed to being crowded with people, has murmurs of trivial sentiments filling the air. I hear whimpers and sobs coming from the living room and back porch; what a sad state of affairs this life has been in recent days.
Carefully, I take the nail polish off my toes, stroking each one slowly, making sure all of the blue has vanished, and while doing so, I attempt to smile at the people on their way in through the front door. As I load another cotton ball with remover my mind slips into the horrible world of “what if?” I desperately search for something else to occupy my mind, and I try to focus on each toe, with its own shape and size and characteristics; success. Finally, the remains of the blue comes off my last toe, I close the container and return it to the bathroom. The trash can, already overloaded with tissues, becomes the new home to my used cotton balls and I move on to my next task - the attempt to find a decent pair of shoes.
Meekly, I pass through my bedroom door. Mom tells me I look beautiful, and that Teej and I need to leave soon, but she’ll be right behind us. I smile and give her a hug, as I feel it’s my only means of consolation these days. TJ and I trudge out the front door, but I find myself following the grey stone path with detailed examination, instead of carelessly cutting across the yard, as I would normally do. TJ unlocks his car. I slowly open the door, and slip into the passenger seat. I eye the array of air fresheners… it still smells like him. Strap in, sit back. Teej starts the car, and I look out the window, staring at the neighborhood we grew up in; he grew up in. TJ starts to accelerate, puts some zeppelin on, fiddles with his tie, and takes the corner. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the worst possible thing I could have ever imagined...
Do you think it's worthy of an essay contest?
Anything you think could be better?