The Five Reasons Sasuke Is/n't Gay
"Sakura, would you stop thinking about Sasuke all the time?" Naruto sat down beside her in a near empty classroom.
"But..."she mumbled "I haven't said anything about Sasuke-kun in the past four days."
"Sweetie..." Naruto rubbed her back in a 'comforting' way "The boy is gay. I'll bring him back one day, but you can't expect him to elope with you, move into an oceanside cottage, and have several lovely children."
"How did you---"
"I read your diary. I know all about your little dream."
Now that got him a smack to the face. "First of all, it's not a dream, it's my five year plan! And second Sasuke is not gay, okay?"
"Okay, since you're so convinced, make me a list. a list of every little thing about Sasuke-kun that isn't gay."
"Why should I?"
"To proove your point!" Naruto smiled.
"you've been planning this out, huh?"
"For weeks." Naruto admitted. "pretty clever, huh?"
"Okay, okay, fine. Gimme a pen and some paper....thank you! Okay here goes!"
THE TOP FIVE REASONS SASUKE ISN'T GAY
as dictated by Sakura
1. His interest in rebuilding the Uchiha clan
2.His desire to avenge his family
3.His large female following
4.His contempt for Naruto
5. His sense of fashion is somewhat... lacking
"There." She handed Naruto the list.
"Five things? You could only think of five things?" Naruto scoffed, this should be easy. "Okay..." He began 'editing' Sakuras handiwork.
IS
THE TOP FIVE REASONS SASUKE ISN'T GAY
as dictated by Sakura As per edited by Naruto
1.His intrest in rebuilding the Uchiha clan---Notice how he hasn't mentioned that since we first became a team?
2.His desire to avenge his family---Just a cover up for his unhealthy obsession with Uchiha Itachi.
3.His large female following---As I recall, So did George Micheal....guesss what? Gay!
4.His contempt for Naruto---His contempt for me? Ha! More like his frustration with me because he secretely loves me!
5.His sense of fashion is somewhat...lacking---Uh, excuse me? Since when did every gay man out there have to dress like Elton John? I mean, look at me for example I wear a bright orange jumpsuit for crying out loud, but that doesn't mean that I'm not gay...not that I am I'm just saying, you know.....
"Naruto?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you so dead set on him being gay?"
Naruto got defensive "I dunno. Why are you so dead set on him being straight?"
"Well, we'll never know until we see him again..." Sakura sighed.
"OKAY, OKAY, FINE I'LL DO IT!!! I'll bring him back, geez..."
As he grabbed his coat and headed out, Sakura smiled to herself. "I knew that would work..."
"But..."she mumbled "I haven't said anything about Sasuke-kun in the past four days."
"Sweetie..." Naruto rubbed her back in a 'comforting' way "The boy is gay. I'll bring him back one day, but you can't expect him to elope with you, move into an oceanside cottage, and have several lovely children."
"How did you---"
"I read your diary. I know all about your little dream."
Now that got him a smack to the face. "First of all, it's not a dream, it's my five year plan! And second Sasuke is not gay, okay?"
"Okay, since you're so convinced, make me a list. a list of every little thing about Sasuke-kun that isn't gay."
"Why should I?"
"To proove your point!" Naruto smiled.
"you've been planning this out, huh?"
"For weeks." Naruto admitted. "pretty clever, huh?"
"Okay, okay, fine. Gimme a pen and some paper....thank you! Okay here goes!"
THE TOP FIVE REASONS SASUKE ISN'T GAY
as dictated by Sakura
1. His interest in rebuilding the Uchiha clan
2.His desire to avenge his family
3.His large female following
4.His contempt for Naruto
5. His sense of fashion is somewhat... lacking
"There." She handed Naruto the list.
"Five things? You could only think of five things?" Naruto scoffed, this should be easy. "Okay..." He began 'editing' Sakuras handiwork.
IS
THE TOP FIVE REASONS SASUKE ISN'T GAY
as dictated by Sakura As per edited by Naruto
1.His intrest in rebuilding the Uchiha clan---Notice how he hasn't mentioned that since we first became a team?
2.His desire to avenge his family---Just a cover up for his unhealthy obsession with Uchiha Itachi.
3.His large female following---As I recall, So did George Micheal....guesss what? Gay!
4.His contempt for Naruto---His contempt for me? Ha! More like his frustration with me because he secretely loves me!
5.His sense of fashion is somewhat...lacking---Uh, excuse me? Since when did every gay man out there have to dress like Elton John? I mean, look at me for example I wear a bright orange jumpsuit for crying out loud, but that doesn't mean that I'm not gay...not that I am I'm just saying, you know.....
"Naruto?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you so dead set on him being gay?"
Naruto got defensive "I dunno. Why are you so dead set on him being straight?"
"Well, we'll never know until we see him again..." Sakura sighed.
"OKAY, OKAY, FINE I'LL DO IT!!! I'll bring him back, geez..."
As he grabbed his coat and headed out, Sakura smiled to herself. "I knew that would work..."