<3

[my_only_heart]

you haven't got the slightest of clues
[he hasn't got a single clue]
I don't want you to know
[he absolutely cannot know]
I don't want fallen subtle hints
[don't nobody drop no hints]
it would ruin everything
['everything' = 'nothing']

at one time I had held it in my hands
[it was mine. it. was. mine.]
I hung onto it for a while
hoping friendship could develop into more
[but it truly never did]
that your love
and passion
and beauty that was so evident and radiant
[it was beautiful]
could somehow be seen by you in me
[was I not beautiful?]

I wanted to make you smile
[it made my life worthwhile]
sometimes so much that
stupid words came out of my mouth
just
to
make
you
laugh
[how silly I always felt]
so much that I made a fool of myself and it was okay
because you smiled that beautiful smile
and you were there in my presence
[he was near]
and nothing else mattered
[nothing.]
I could smile like the world was mine
[and it was. you could see it...in my smile]

I have no poetic words that will take your breath away
[although I wish I had]

you'd never even guess this is about you...

[you'd never guess this]

but I miss you
[so much]
I miss our friendship
I miss that hope I had
even when it seemed impossible, like now
[which seems so hopeless]
but I think I still have that sliver of hope
[there it is]
that somehow maybe I could have that chance again
[could it be?]
I fear so much that it's just a vision
[a dream]
that it's fake. I'm blinded.
[I cannot see]
it's not really there, it will never really happen
and that I shouldn't even bother getting myself into it again
but something just seems so right...
and
I miss you.

[it's true]