SFHQ - Commander Perry's Personal Logs
+ Three log entries for Commander Perry, mostly about Sam, for the Personal Log challenge at starfleet-hq
I re-purposed an RP plot that wasn't getting written for this one. Because, honestly, I'm nothing if not a recycler. These are all audio entries, all taking place within the same afternoon, approximately five years prior to the Aurora Borealis' current stardate.
I am so tired of all of this. [there's no patience in her tone] They've been arguing for two hours about who is better suited to provide for him. Like I haven't been doing just that for two years. None of them actually want a toddler. They just want the praise and attention for showing how much they care about his well-being.
[she's been holding the rage in for so long that, once the gate is opened, she's just got to let it out]
If they actually cared about Sammy's well-being, my parents wouldn't have thrown Annie out of the house when she told them she was pregnant. Devin's parents would have made him actually admit some responsibility. But, no no, that would just hurt their standing at the club, and they can't have any sort of scandal! But they sure have that now, thanks to Devin.
[there's a laugh, but it's far from comfortable]
And, now, they're all fighting over him... My mother just said that her heart is breaking because this little boy has no one in the world.
[there's a hitch, as she tries to fight tears]
I've had him, this whole time. When I found Annie crying outside, I took her straight to the doctor. I brought her home. I made her eat and I gave her my bed. I made sure she got to every exam. I helped her pick a crib. I was there when he was born. I gave him baths while Annie worked her butt off to finish school on time. [a pause] I was there for his first steps, his first words... and his first funeral. [a longer pause] I've been at his side whenever he has a nightmare. He comes to me with a boo-boo, which can only be healed with a kiss. He only shares his cookies with me. Well, and our neighbor's dog...
[there's a beep then an uncomfortable laugh and a mumbled 'Better and better.']
Sammy's great-grandfather wants a visit. Sam is the only person in Devin's family who actually cared about Annie. And Sammy. [she smiles and whispers] Sammy, I bet you didn't know that your great grandpa was the first one to hold you that wasn't me or Mommy. [her throat clears] He got sent off to be the ambassador of some planet off past Vulcan, before Mommy died.
[she pauses, then laughs]
I bet none of them have even realized you're named after him.
They don't care about his leaf collection. They don't know he's allergic to carrots. [there's a sniff] They don't care that I want him. I want him.
[she's shifted in the chair]
And, now, I get notice that I'm going to be assigned to a starship. If I go, I lose Sammy, for sure. If I turn them down, I'll be lucky if I can get back to the motorpool. And that's if Starfleet even lets me decline. Whatever. I don't care about it. I only care about Sammy. If I have to transfer to sanitation and muck out the sewers, I'll do it. He'll love me even if I stink, right?
[there's a distinct pause in the record function, then another muffle, and a few deep breaths as she tries to compose herself]
Sam walked in with an admiral. Just as I flipped out on my mother and told her off. Should give for some good gossip at the club, since I'm pretty sure everyone in the building heard it. Funny thing is that I'm more ashamed that Sam and the admiral saw and heard it than I am acting that way toward my parents.
[there's a deep breath and a whisper]
Sammy, I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Neither did Mommy. We only want what's best for you, and I'm starting to think that that is getting you as far away from this family as possible. [a slight laugh] I'm not even sure the Delta Quadrant is far enough... I love you, pancake.
Sammy... [there's exhaustion hidden behind her voice] you're mine. Officially, I mean. I mean, you've been mine since the day you were born. [if you know her, you can hear her smile] I just let your mother think you were hers. [a slight chuckle]
But, today, it's official. I am your guardian. And no one is going to take you away from me. I promise you that. I mean, you're not old enough to understand, right now, but, one day... one day.
[there's a sigh and the sound of a body moving in a chair]
Grandpa Sam showed up and started making a lot of noise. At everybody. And, then... Well, somehow, he got the final say. So, you and me, pancake... And we're going to a starship. I've been so worried about what all this fighting would do to you. What moving you away from home would do to you. [a pause] I never thought we'd both be moving somewhere new.
[a deep breath]
No matter what you might hear, the next few days, your mother loved you. She wanted you. And she was a good person. A wonderful person. The very best baby sister anyone could ever ask for. [she's smiling again]
I wish... [she pauses for a moment, then sighs] I wish I could say the same for your father, but, um... I wish I could tell you about him, when you're older. To be able to answer your questions. I won't be able to tell you much about your grandparents, either. At least nothing good. [a quick breath] But, it's okay.
We are going to have an amazing life together.
I re-purposed an RP plot that wasn't getting written for this one. Because, honestly, I'm nothing if not a recycler. These are all audio entries, all taking place within the same afternoon, approximately five years prior to the Aurora Borealis' current stardate.
I am so tired of all of this. [there's no patience in her tone] They've been arguing for two hours about who is better suited to provide for him. Like I haven't been doing just that for two years. None of them actually want a toddler. They just want the praise and attention for showing how much they care about his well-being.
[she's been holding the rage in for so long that, once the gate is opened, she's just got to let it out]
If they actually cared about Sammy's well-being, my parents wouldn't have thrown Annie out of the house when she told them she was pregnant. Devin's parents would have made him actually admit some responsibility. But, no no, that would just hurt their standing at the club, and they can't have any sort of scandal! But they sure have that now, thanks to Devin.
[there's a laugh, but it's far from comfortable]
And, now, they're all fighting over him... My mother just said that her heart is breaking because this little boy has no one in the world.
[there's a hitch, as she tries to fight tears]
I've had him, this whole time. When I found Annie crying outside, I took her straight to the doctor. I brought her home. I made her eat and I gave her my bed. I made sure she got to every exam. I helped her pick a crib. I was there when he was born. I gave him baths while Annie worked her butt off to finish school on time. [a pause] I was there for his first steps, his first words... and his first funeral. [a longer pause] I've been at his side whenever he has a nightmare. He comes to me with a boo-boo, which can only be healed with a kiss. He only shares his cookies with me. Well, and our neighbor's dog...
[there's a beep then an uncomfortable laugh and a mumbled 'Better and better.']
Sammy's great-grandfather wants a visit. Sam is the only person in Devin's family who actually cared about Annie. And Sammy. [she smiles and whispers] Sammy, I bet you didn't know that your great grandpa was the first one to hold you that wasn't me or Mommy. [her throat clears] He got sent off to be the ambassador of some planet off past Vulcan, before Mommy died.
[she pauses, then laughs]
I bet none of them have even realized you're named after him.
They don't care about his leaf collection. They don't know he's allergic to carrots. [there's a sniff] They don't care that I want him. I want him.
[she's shifted in the chair]
And, now, I get notice that I'm going to be assigned to a starship. If I go, I lose Sammy, for sure. If I turn them down, I'll be lucky if I can get back to the motorpool. And that's if Starfleet even lets me decline. Whatever. I don't care about it. I only care about Sammy. If I have to transfer to sanitation and muck out the sewers, I'll do it. He'll love me even if I stink, right?
[there's a distinct pause in the record function, then another muffle, and a few deep breaths as she tries to compose herself]
Sam walked in with an admiral. Just as I flipped out on my mother and told her off. Should give for some good gossip at the club, since I'm pretty sure everyone in the building heard it. Funny thing is that I'm more ashamed that Sam and the admiral saw and heard it than I am acting that way toward my parents.
[there's a deep breath and a whisper]
Sammy, I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Neither did Mommy. We only want what's best for you, and I'm starting to think that that is getting you as far away from this family as possible. [a slight laugh] I'm not even sure the Delta Quadrant is far enough... I love you, pancake.
Sammy... [there's exhaustion hidden behind her voice] you're mine. Officially, I mean. I mean, you've been mine since the day you were born. [if you know her, you can hear her smile] I just let your mother think you were hers. [a slight chuckle]
But, today, it's official. I am your guardian. And no one is going to take you away from me. I promise you that. I mean, you're not old enough to understand, right now, but, one day... one day.
[there's a sigh and the sound of a body moving in a chair]
Grandpa Sam showed up and started making a lot of noise. At everybody. And, then... Well, somehow, he got the final say. So, you and me, pancake... And we're going to a starship. I've been so worried about what all this fighting would do to you. What moving you away from home would do to you. [a pause] I never thought we'd both be moving somewhere new.
[a deep breath]
No matter what you might hear, the next few days, your mother loved you. She wanted you. And she was a good person. A wonderful person. The very best baby sister anyone could ever ask for. [she's smiling again]
I wish... [she pauses for a moment, then sighs] I wish I could say the same for your father, but, um... I wish I could tell you about him, when you're older. To be able to answer your questions. I won't be able to tell you much about your grandparents, either. At least nothing good. [a quick breath] But, it's okay.
We are going to have an amazing life together.