It's been forever
Guess I had forgotten about this place....or I've just resorted to being a myspace blogger.....either way...it's been entirely too long.
Lots of changes have been made in my life since I last updated here....
I finally broke down and married a man I dated off and on for damn near 6 years.......
A week after our wedding....my husband left for his military training in Oklahoma.....
I found out I'm pregnant with his 2nd child about 2 months after that......
Turns out the baby I'm carrying is another little girl......
I found out a couple of days ago that my husband has already cheated on me......
and now...here I am....5 1/2 months pregnant and more heartbroken than ever.
I guess I should have seen it coming....I've never had any sort of luck in anything I've ever done. Now I'm torn....I don't know if I should just divorce his ass or give him another chance.....I'm very much against divorce...but I'm more against the act of commiting adultry.
I don't think I can handle being married to a man that I can't trust....I think in the end we'd both be miserable. I just don't understand why this happened and since my husband is going through training...he doesn't have access to a phone.....so we can't even talk or argue about it. I'm just left with the truth of what happened....and no explanations......I told him I knew more than I really did and he confessed and then he had to go but he told me he loves me and he doesn't want me to divorce him.....but I don't deserve this. I love him more than anything......I just don't understand why he did this to me....especially while I'm pregnant with his kid and trying to raise our 4 yr old by myself.
Some mornings it's hard to crawl out of bed.....I cry myself to sleep......I cry all day long it seems like.....I feel like my whole life has been destroyed.....
:(