It's over...
So it is official. Peter and I are done. He broke up with me on thrusday night. Wow it was really sad. I am so depressed but trying not to be because it is christmas time. It is just really hard. I am trying not to call him because he wants to live his life. So i feel that if i was to call him i would be interfering with that by being something from the past and not being able to move on. It was really hard to except the fact that he just wasn't in love with me anymore. He said he still loved me but wasn't in love with me. I don't understand why he would spend so much money on me just to tell me three days later tell me that he wasn't in love with me anymore. My mind wants to hate him but my heart won't let it. I am just in such a confused phase rght now. So much going on. He just sounded so whatever about it when he told me. It wasn't even like sad for him, i think that's what also hurt a lot. And the fact that i don't know when i'm going to hear from him again was a pain as well. He didn't even say if he still wanted to be friends or not that was it. He just was like here is the deal and i'm done. Also the fact that when i talked to him he asked what i was doing and i said that i was hanging out with k-b at her house watching a movie and stuff and he told me. It was really hard to talk to him about it when i was at a friends house. I actually think i did a pretty good job holding everything back. It has still been really hard. It was also hard because my whole family just kept talking about how i looked so good and was so beautiful but all i could think about was how i have such bad luck with guys. Obviously i'm not that wonderful if none of them like me even the one that i thought was it. That i thought was the best thing to ever happen to me. I thought he was it. Perfect in every way. I had never found anyone like that before. Every person that i have met or liked before always had something that annoyed me but Peter. Nope nothing. Whoever the girl to end up with him is going to be one lucky bitch. Man i wish i was that girl. I just wish there was something i could do. But there isn't anything i can do about it and i just have to live the rest of my life without him. What a fucking life let me tell you!! Well i'm going to go mope around the house now hopefully i will be saved by some friends soon...we'll see though...