Hanging with the Boys
Because I'm feeling extra irritable at work this morning since I started the day with a meeting that showed an example of how good leadership and a sense of accountability is lacking in our program, I'm going to attempt to distract myself for a little while until my irritability fades away. (Note to Self: Update resume and stop procrastinating, you lazy bum!)
Now that I got that out of the way…
Lately, I've been hanging out with some guy friends and it is very interesting to hear things from their point of view. I'm not just talking about conversations where I specifically ask them what they think about something; just watching how they act and hearing what they say brings into perspective how different guys are. It reaffirms my belief that just because a girl is into stereotypically "guy" things such as motorcycles, cars, any hardcore workouts like martial arts or even crossfit, and others, it does not make her "guy-like." Or even if a girl displays stereotypically "guy" traits, like an aversion to talking about her feelings, a strong need for independence and alone time, wanting to do things for herself, etc, it does not make her "guy-like." How did I come to this conclusion? Well, I am pretty much all of the above and I've been told by both guys and girls that I think like a guy or I am very guy-like. Let me tell you, I do not think like a guy, nor am I guy-like, and I'm not just saying that because my inner-feminist protests at associating gender to any of these traits (although, that's part of it too, just a little).
Let me start by saying that I really dislike categorizing certain actions or thoughts based on gender, race, or some other stereotype. Like, if someone is being clingy or overly sensitive, I really dislike it when someone says, "stop acting like a girl." Or when someone isn't willing to tough it out, it's, "why don't you grow some balls." I mean, really? Why do you have to put a gender-spin on it? Not to say that I’m not guilty of saying these things too (coz I am), I just think it kinda sucks that society has made this such a norm that we don’t even realize we’re inadvertently putting ourselves down when we say these things. My mom was telling me the other day that a woman was driving when someone cut her off in a dangerous maneuver. What does the woman say? “Oh, it must’ve been a woman driving!” =/
But I digress…my point is, although I may display stereotypically guy traits and am interested in stereotypically guy things, I do not act or think like a guy, simply because…I’m not a guy. I do realize, however, that even though I don’t like lumping traits or actions based on gender, guys and girls really do think differently. I guess we’re just build differently, both physically and mentally, so we don’t see things the same way. Hanging out with the boys is really an eye-opener or at the very least, a suspicions-confirmer, because man, do you boys think differently. Some things I’ve learned and some suspicions that have been confirmed are the following: (and yes, I know this does not apply to all guys)
(1) Pretty girls can get away with a lot of things.
A pretty face can and will get away with things that not-so-cute faces can’t. Yeah, that’s what I thought. A friend was relating a story about how his (hot) female roommate’s checks were bouncing the past 2 months for rent, and how she would go into these long explanations about why and how she’s really sorry about it. What did he have to say? “I just wanted to tell her, don’t worry about it, since she’s really hot. If she were ugly, I’d be all up in arms about it.” I love guys and their brutal honesty. And here I was, feeling guilty when I (rarely or sometimes inadvertently) “use my looks” to get my way. Turns out, they know we do it, and they don’t care.
(2) Guys are easily distracted by a hot girl, regardless of whether they’re taken or currently interested in someone else.
I was working out with my friend yesterday while this hot girl in a sports bra is working out in a different part of the room. Man, he was sooo distracted by her. At one point, he opened the door for me when we were about to go for a run, then he goes, “Did she see that I opened the door for you?” Oh man, do you guys crack me up. Which leads me to the next point…
(3) Guys try to impress hot girls, even if they’re taken or seriously interested in someone.
I don’t know if this is part of the he-man syndrome or what, but this is really interesting to me. When I’m involved with someone, I don’t even really notice other guys too much anymore, nor do I try to impress them. Do I try to impress guys now that I’m single? The answer is still no. I just try to look cute. ;p
(4) Guys always see single female friends as potentials. Always.
Which is why I really need to be careful about my guy friends and make sure I’m not inadvertently leading them on (since I think I’m naturally flirtatious). I know women are capable of putting guys in the “just friends” bucket, but who am I kidding? If I have a hot male friend, and by hot I mean someone I’m attracted to, I will always see him as a potential, even if I pretend like I’ve put him in the “just friends” bucket. Still, it’s not the same way guys see girls. Hmmm….
(5) If you show an interest in a guy and you’re “reasonable attractive” (a friend’s words, not mine), he will likely become interested in you too.
Reeeaaallly? Good to know. And last but not the least...
(6) Guys are simple creatures. As a guy friend told me, "Guys tend to think with their [fill in the blank]."
I never really believed this one until I started hanging out with some guy friends. It's so true! I think girls, myself included, tend to think too deeply about why a guy said what he said or why he did what he did. The simple truth is, he said or did something because...he was thinking with his [fill in the blank]. I'm going to keep this in mind the next time I try to decipher what a guy is really thinking.
Having learned these things, I realized that even I sometimes thought of myself as “guy-like” when it came to viewing the opposite sex. Nope, I sure don’t. Man, I’m glad that I’m making some guy friends because as much as I love my girls, they can’t give me this kind of perspective.
Now that I got that out of the way…
Lately, I've been hanging out with some guy friends and it is very interesting to hear things from their point of view. I'm not just talking about conversations where I specifically ask them what they think about something; just watching how they act and hearing what they say brings into perspective how different guys are. It reaffirms my belief that just because a girl is into stereotypically "guy" things such as motorcycles, cars, any hardcore workouts like martial arts or even crossfit, and others, it does not make her "guy-like." Or even if a girl displays stereotypically "guy" traits, like an aversion to talking about her feelings, a strong need for independence and alone time, wanting to do things for herself, etc, it does not make her "guy-like." How did I come to this conclusion? Well, I am pretty much all of the above and I've been told by both guys and girls that I think like a guy or I am very guy-like. Let me tell you, I do not think like a guy, nor am I guy-like, and I'm not just saying that because my inner-feminist protests at associating gender to any of these traits (although, that's part of it too, just a little).
Let me start by saying that I really dislike categorizing certain actions or thoughts based on gender, race, or some other stereotype. Like, if someone is being clingy or overly sensitive, I really dislike it when someone says, "stop acting like a girl." Or when someone isn't willing to tough it out, it's, "why don't you grow some balls." I mean, really? Why do you have to put a gender-spin on it? Not to say that I’m not guilty of saying these things too (coz I am), I just think it kinda sucks that society has made this such a norm that we don’t even realize we’re inadvertently putting ourselves down when we say these things. My mom was telling me the other day that a woman was driving when someone cut her off in a dangerous maneuver. What does the woman say? “Oh, it must’ve been a woman driving!” =/
But I digress…my point is, although I may display stereotypically guy traits and am interested in stereotypically guy things, I do not act or think like a guy, simply because…I’m not a guy. I do realize, however, that even though I don’t like lumping traits or actions based on gender, guys and girls really do think differently. I guess we’re just build differently, both physically and mentally, so we don’t see things the same way. Hanging out with the boys is really an eye-opener or at the very least, a suspicions-confirmer, because man, do you boys think differently. Some things I’ve learned and some suspicions that have been confirmed are the following: (and yes, I know this does not apply to all guys)
(1) Pretty girls can get away with a lot of things.
A pretty face can and will get away with things that not-so-cute faces can’t. Yeah, that’s what I thought. A friend was relating a story about how his (hot) female roommate’s checks were bouncing the past 2 months for rent, and how she would go into these long explanations about why and how she’s really sorry about it. What did he have to say? “I just wanted to tell her, don’t worry about it, since she’s really hot. If she were ugly, I’d be all up in arms about it.” I love guys and their brutal honesty. And here I was, feeling guilty when I (rarely or sometimes inadvertently) “use my looks” to get my way. Turns out, they know we do it, and they don’t care.
(2) Guys are easily distracted by a hot girl, regardless of whether they’re taken or currently interested in someone else.
I was working out with my friend yesterday while this hot girl in a sports bra is working out in a different part of the room. Man, he was sooo distracted by her. At one point, he opened the door for me when we were about to go for a run, then he goes, “Did she see that I opened the door for you?” Oh man, do you guys crack me up. Which leads me to the next point…
(3) Guys try to impress hot girls, even if they’re taken or seriously interested in someone.
I don’t know if this is part of the he-man syndrome or what, but this is really interesting to me. When I’m involved with someone, I don’t even really notice other guys too much anymore, nor do I try to impress them. Do I try to impress guys now that I’m single? The answer is still no. I just try to look cute. ;p
(4) Guys always see single female friends as potentials. Always.
Which is why I really need to be careful about my guy friends and make sure I’m not inadvertently leading them on (since I think I’m naturally flirtatious). I know women are capable of putting guys in the “just friends” bucket, but who am I kidding? If I have a hot male friend, and by hot I mean someone I’m attracted to, I will always see him as a potential, even if I pretend like I’ve put him in the “just friends” bucket. Still, it’s not the same way guys see girls. Hmmm….
(5) If you show an interest in a guy and you’re “reasonable attractive” (a friend’s words, not mine), he will likely become interested in you too.
Reeeaaallly? Good to know. And last but not the least...
(6) Guys are simple creatures. As a guy friend told me, "Guys tend to think with their [fill in the blank]."
I never really believed this one until I started hanging out with some guy friends. It's so true! I think girls, myself included, tend to think too deeply about why a guy said what he said or why he did what he did. The simple truth is, he said or did something because...he was thinking with his [fill in the blank]. I'm going to keep this in mind the next time I try to decipher what a guy is really thinking.
Having learned these things, I realized that even I sometimes thought of myself as “guy-like” when it came to viewing the opposite sex. Nope, I sure don’t. Man, I’m glad that I’m making some guy friends because as much as I love my girls, they can’t give me this kind of perspective.