If only it were a childhood fairytale...
Ah, dear old dad... if you can really call him that. Most people would. For it is just what they call the man who's the head of the house. And is married to the mom. But what really makes a dad. Isn't it really just a name? A name that is given to the male when he gets a kid tossed onto his hands.
Smile. Hold. Don't drop. Hand over to Wife. Smile some more. Make cutesy baby noises. Pretend... Ah what it all could be. Just pretend? Maybe. Perhaps. For my case its a yes. One, he isn't my real dad. Just a step. He is just a pretend dad. No. He's not even a dad. Or a step. It's just and nothing more then a title. A name. Now where exactly am I going with this? Who knows. Do you? Do I? Maybe. Perhaps.
The man that I have to call dad, is not a man. He is not even a child. He sank below the rank of a child a long time ago. Fuck, he's not even a child with a temper. The man I call dad, is nothing more then a demon in my eyes. A demon with a horrendous temper. A temper so harsh and full of hate. It can be seen in his eyes. All that anger building up. Anger. Hatred. Things that were being surpressed. For a little while at least.
Feelings. No, this man doesn't have any. He doesn't care. Doesn't feel. Doesn't mind. All he does is cause pain. For everyone... If they knew that is. Pain. Blinding pain. All depends. To him it's punishment. Not for him mind you. But me. But punishment from what? Who knows. Whatever ticks him off at the moment. Ah yes that's it. Whatever ticks him off. Even if I never did anything. It just gets taken out on me. Yeah, even if I didn't start it. Even if I wasn't even there if it happened.
It just ends up my fault. As it always is. My fault. Everything is my fault. End of story.
Smile. Hold. Don't drop. Hand over to Wife. Smile some more. Make cutesy baby noises. Pretend... Ah what it all could be. Just pretend? Maybe. Perhaps. For my case its a yes. One, he isn't my real dad. Just a step. He is just a pretend dad. No. He's not even a dad. Or a step. It's just and nothing more then a title. A name. Now where exactly am I going with this? Who knows. Do you? Do I? Maybe. Perhaps.
The man that I have to call dad, is not a man. He is not even a child. He sank below the rank of a child a long time ago. Fuck, he's not even a child with a temper. The man I call dad, is nothing more then a demon in my eyes. A demon with a horrendous temper. A temper so harsh and full of hate. It can be seen in his eyes. All that anger building up. Anger. Hatred. Things that were being surpressed. For a little while at least.
Feelings. No, this man doesn't have any. He doesn't care. Doesn't feel. Doesn't mind. All he does is cause pain. For everyone... If they knew that is. Pain. Blinding pain. All depends. To him it's punishment. Not for him mind you. But me. But punishment from what? Who knows. Whatever ticks him off at the moment. Ah yes that's it. Whatever ticks him off. Even if I never did anything. It just gets taken out on me. Yeah, even if I didn't start it. Even if I wasn't even there if it happened.
It just ends up my fault. As it always is. My fault. Everything is my fault. End of story.