#43: letters to..
dear A, why did we have to miss out so much of this when we were younger? it's all my fault and i am terribly sorry for all the hurt i've ever caused you. i wish that i could just take everything back. i would have turned out so much different then.
dear B, i miss MG like i miss the ice-kachang in singapore. thank you for letters that bring encouragement and a smile on my face. :)
dear C, please don't be so depressed always! you're the only one here who's made me feel comfortable and at home. and i want to be a true friend. we'll get through this together.
dear D and E, i'm sorry i may not be the girl you might have wanted me to be. i'm sorry if i disappointed you/ disappoint you in one way or another. i don't think i can ever live up to standards that have been set for me. i'm not that supergirl you might think i am. i just.. try my best. i'm really sorry if it isn't good enough. :( i'll just try harder.
dear F, my heart speaks many many words of (feelings). but you don't know how much confusion goes through my mind. I don't even know WHY they run through my mind. i care so badly it aches. i don't know if i'm ever going to be good enough (4U)
dear G, i'm so so so sorry it had to be this way.
dear H and I, thank you for just being part of my life.
dear J, i wish i was there to experience everything that has been happening. i often dream about it. i hole myself up and become all pensive because of it. i wonder then, why God placed me here.
dear K, i don't think i was ever good enough. but i REALLY wished i could have stayed longer than that. you were just too creme-of-the-crop for me.
dear L, i don't know what i said or what i did. but we don't hang out as much as we used to. is it me, or is it me?
dear M, i think you're winning. i'm just lousy and stupid.
dear N, please give yourself one more chance.
dear God, please hold my hand. suddenly, it feels like i'm back in 2003 again. but the situation's just the opposite way around with the same feelings mashed together. dear God, its that dark well again. i'm falling into nothingness. please please please help me again. i'm sorry if i made you sad/angry in any way. but right now, my soul's ripped apart and messed up even though i'm clinging to the pieces for dear life in hopes that i won't shatter. grant me strength God and carry me on your shoulders.
Isaiah 41:13
[edit] i'd figured ppl would have given up reading the tiny light blue print on their screens. hence, the changed and (clean) layout [/edit]