welcome to my life
Yesterday was the first day Josh didn't came over my house for a long time. It was HORRIBLE. I missed him so much it was unbelievable. Talk about being depressed. I don't want to do that ever again. But i don't know if he is coming over tonight because i made him mad. Seems like i can never keep anyone happy. I am always making everyone mad including myself. HOW AWESOME. LIFE ROCKS, NOT! I am sick of being a failure. I am sick of almost everything and basically what it comes down to is i am fucking sick of LIFE. The one thing i'm not sick of is Josh. I am sick of the arguing we do but we always get over the arguing usually pretty fast. I am beyond stressed out lately. School is going good but yet they all of a sudden are overloading us with fucking Labs. I can't deal with it right now. I can't deal with anything lately (and yes again not even myself) i am stupid. I act before i think. Then when i finally get around to thinking about it i figure out how stupid i really am. I ask myself why Josh is even with me. I mean he could have so much better. What do i give him? I give him unconditional love (which i don't even know if he sees, i think he does but not sure) and i put him through a lot of bullshit because i am a jealous over protective person. How can i change myself, can anyone tell/help me? Because the last thing i want and last thing i need right now is to lose the one thing that i Cherish the most. I love him to death. Yughh i dunno anymore i need help that is one thing i am sure of....Peace
~*~ <3 Josh <3 i am truly sorry, i know sorry is said a lot. But if there was something else to be said i would say it. I mean sorry is just a word, but yet a feeling too. To me the word sorry means a lot more then the word. (that sounds confusing but the whole sorry situation is confusing) The word Sorry is kinda like the word Love. There is so much more then the word but its unexplainable. But i am truly sorry, "i am sorry i am the way i am" But i Love you with all my heart and that is one thing that will never change. Sitting here i can see you, your unexplainable eyes, your gorgeous smile, your handsome facial features, kissable lips,your amazing body (i never seen someone so small be able to lift so much weight, btw you may be skinny but your muscular! my rugged sexy stud!hehe) I don't know anything about you that i don't like. Your altogether amazing. Not only your body but your mind, your personality, YOU everything about you is amazing! Well I love you babes and I hope that i get to see you tonight. Missing you lots :-( Muahz~*~
~Jillian
Simple Plan
"Welcome to my life"
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like
Welcome to my life
~*~ <3 Josh <3 i am truly sorry, i know sorry is said a lot. But if there was something else to be said i would say it. I mean sorry is just a word, but yet a feeling too. To me the word sorry means a lot more then the word. (that sounds confusing but the whole sorry situation is confusing) The word Sorry is kinda like the word Love. There is so much more then the word but its unexplainable. But i am truly sorry, "i am sorry i am the way i am" But i Love you with all my heart and that is one thing that will never change. Sitting here i can see you, your unexplainable eyes, your gorgeous smile, your handsome facial features, kissable lips,your amazing body (i never seen someone so small be able to lift so much weight, btw you may be skinny but your muscular! my rugged sexy stud!hehe) I don't know anything about you that i don't like. Your altogether amazing. Not only your body but your mind, your personality, YOU everything about you is amazing! Well I love you babes and I hope that i get to see you tonight. Missing you lots :-( Muahz~*~
~Jillian
Simple Plan
"Welcome to my life"
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like
Welcome to my life