Will this ever stop?
Have you ever felt so much hate for someone that you truly love deep down inside? Well I feel this every day of my fucking life. I can't do anything right. As a matter of fact I can't do anything period without someone bitching at me. This is starting to get fucking sicking. Its like this one person can bring me so far down and they don't give two shits. They can do no wrong. I am fucking sick of it. This ONE person makes me feel worthless. Now I know why I am always getting frustrated with Josh, and it has absolutely nothing to do with him. This one person can ruin my whole day. I don't think I have gone a day with out her hollering at me. AND if it’s not her hollering at me it’s him (not Josh). THE two people in this world that should care about me, the two people that are suppose to make me happy and encourage me not tell me I can't do it. YOUR SUPPOSE TO HAVE FUCKING FAITH IN ME GOD DAMN IT! Can I go ONE fucking day without YOU MAKING ME FEEL WORTHLESS?? Can you let me live MY LIFE? Can you stop fucking telling me I can't do something when I can! "Oh your not going to pass your classes so you wont be able to graduate college, and if you get lucky enough to graduate college you wont get a job in your field anyway" FUCK YOU I AM GOING TO GRADUATE (btw I am doing awesome in school this semester thank you very much), AND I AM GOING TO GET A FUCKING JOB. Stop trying to hold me back from life because soon enough I won’t want to be part of your life.
I am going job hunting hopefully soon, I need to get an apartment so I can get the fuck out of this hell hole! I figured it all out. When I am with Josh's family I feel like I am at home, and I am happy! when I am here I feel like I shouldn't be here (like I should have died by now or maybe shouldn't have been born)and I feel so fucking worthless. But I guess that’s life, who knows if any of you even understand how I feel. Oh well if you don't I don't give a shit. “WELCOME TO MY LIFE”
PTFO
~*~Josh-you’re probably the only one that understands me and sees what I go through. Thanks for always being there for me. And I Love You with all my heart and I will never forget all that you have done for me. Miss you and I can't wait to see you tonight! muahz!~*~
~Jillian
I am going job hunting hopefully soon, I need to get an apartment so I can get the fuck out of this hell hole! I figured it all out. When I am with Josh's family I feel like I am at home, and I am happy! when I am here I feel like I shouldn't be here (like I should have died by now or maybe shouldn't have been born)and I feel so fucking worthless. But I guess that’s life, who knows if any of you even understand how I feel. Oh well if you don't I don't give a shit. “WELCOME TO MY LIFE”
PTFO
~*~Josh-you’re probably the only one that understands me and sees what I go through. Thanks for always being there for me. And I Love You with all my heart and I will never forget all that you have done for me. Miss you and I can't wait to see you tonight! muahz!~*~
~Jillian