Fucking Gnomes...
Alright someone check the streak on how long it's been since I've bitched on this thing, cause I'm ending it. I've been feeling like shit lately, and I really wish whatever this rut is would move on but it's not. I got a whopping two days of work this week, so I've been at home with nothing to do. I've basically been pouring my life into Neverwinter Nights all week. I'm lonely as all hell, and lately I've really missed Maggie. I know we weren't dating all that long but I was happy, really happy, and I miss being happy in that way. Speaking of Maggie she's fixed and everything now, her operation went well for those that care. I'm really disappointed in how I've been conducting myself as of late, often times scaring myself, yet at the same time I do nothing to change because I lack the will and care to do so. This transition is hard...from lazy couch potatoe to joining the military, it's wearing me out. It's like the new me and the old me are fighting for control all the time while my brain is trying to find a happy medium. To be perfectly honest I wish I was in shape to leave tomorrow for boot camp. I have amazing friends and all but I feel this overbearing need to start my life and get going. I know college is supposed to be doing that but I have never felt it being that way, college is just an extension of high school to me. I've lost track of everything somewhere and now I'm struggling to find it all again and I'm driving myself bonkers. Anyway I'm fucking exhausted and I have to get up early in the morning so goodnight.