(no subject)
I was going to write about my poor experience at clinicals this morning, but I"m too frustrated to even explain it all the way. Basically....
1. my preceptor made rude comments about a patient right outside her room
2. I was sent in to start the visit. The girl had an attitude in general, but was "nice" to me and smiled at me a lot
3. I left the room to find my preceptor. I explained something about the patient to her "IN THE PATIENT'S OWN WORDS". This means I said nothing of an "opinion" nature.
4. We returned to the pt's room, and the patient said straight to the preceptor "you need to get thinner walls", implying she could hear us talking at a nearby desk. This made me uncomfortable at first, wondering WHAT she heard but not really being nervous because I at that point I didn't think either one of us had said anything bad.
5. The preceptor immediately got upset, but continued with the appointment procedures. The girl continued to be rude. I started to assume this was because she heard the preceptor's comment.
6. I left the room to get something for the preceptor.
7. I returned to the room AGAIN, and the preceptor is now raising her voice to this (albeit, rude) patient, and making stern comments (albeit again, true comments), and actually told the girl "you need to grow up now. take responsibility for yourself." quite harshly. I enjoyed it (even if it was unprofessional), thinking that I was proud of my preceptor for not letting the girl's warning that she "heard us" make her nervous.
8. After the appointment, the NP over a course of two hours immaturely berrated me. As in ignoring my questions or not telling me about our patients' needs", and flat out discussing three separate times how I, ME, Meghan, had said something inappropriate out here that the patient heard and must have pissed her off. On and on and on, all red-faced and condescending. As if I was the one who had been nasty.
WTF!??!?!
What the hell did do? I will admit, I have a huge mouth, AND I have NO RESPECT for a majority of the patients I have seen in my life, because I disagree with their lifestyles. **(the fact that no one in this world has a JOB any more these days, because I don't believe in purposely infecting your children with HIV, because I don't believe in abortions, because I think having 15 STD's is disgusting and irresponsible, and because I believe it's wrong to consciously or irresponsibly become pregnant before marriage, etc.)** I won't deny ever making remarks about certain situations or repeated behavior, but certainly not while I"m being precepted under a microscope, nor before I'm certain the person I'm commenting to shares my pretences. No comments were made here, because I didn't know anything about this girl either way.
It's slightly possible, that when I repeated something the patient said in the room, to my preceptor VERBATIM as we are taught to do, the girl overheard me. Since the phrase the girl said was strange itself, perhaps the girl heard me repeat HER words, and didn't recognize how poorly SHE had said it. Myabe she thought I made it up. However, my preceptor understood that I was repeating exactly what the patient herself said. And she didn't seem surprised or imply that she thought my statement was anything but normal. If she honestly thought something I said was rude she would have reacted there. Therefore it seems extremely unlikely that something I said was the problem, especially since the girl was nice to me and said bye to me on the way out, but was rude to the preceptor and was pissy before I even got into the room in the first place.
So what about my preceptor herself?! I thought what SHE said was true, but inappropriate to say right outside the room. She was right, but she should learn to make sarcastic comments smartly so you don't get overheard or understood. And even IN the room she was so condescending! The preceptor must not have noticed that the girl looked RIGHT at HER when she said "you need thinner walls". And that the girl asnwered all my questions but not the preceptors. And that the girl thanked ME not the preceptor (because I found her extra information and helped her).
Most likely, the preceptor herself was embarassed that I witnessed the debaucle, and displaced or projected the blame onto me to draw the attention off of herself. Like, to confuse me. It sounds paranoid, but this lady fumed about it forever. And if she honestly held the girl in such low esteem as she made it seem before she sent me into the room, why would she care if I said anything (which I didn't but she acted like I did)? Plus, embarassment is stronger and longer than frustration or anger, so when she held on to it that long it started to seem like she was embarassed for herself and couldnt' get over it until she made the point it was not her fault.
Now she's going ot give me a bad rep at that practice, and I need to keep going there for clinicals! It's not the end of the world, but it's annoying me because I hate, HATE being misunderstood and not allowed to get my side of the story out. That's why although I form quick first impressions of people, it's usually the second impression of people that I focus on. I fully believe that people's behaviors can be misunderstood initially-- so long as they can demonstrate that to me. Rambling now.
So apparantly I found the energy to elaborate, lol. Ok I'm over it. Just needed to vent because it's hard for me to not get frustrated when I am misunderstood or blamed!
1. my preceptor made rude comments about a patient right outside her room
2. I was sent in to start the visit. The girl had an attitude in general, but was "nice" to me and smiled at me a lot
3. I left the room to find my preceptor. I explained something about the patient to her "IN THE PATIENT'S OWN WORDS". This means I said nothing of an "opinion" nature.
4. We returned to the pt's room, and the patient said straight to the preceptor "you need to get thinner walls", implying she could hear us talking at a nearby desk. This made me uncomfortable at first, wondering WHAT she heard but not really being nervous because I at that point I didn't think either one of us had said anything bad.
5. The preceptor immediately got upset, but continued with the appointment procedures. The girl continued to be rude. I started to assume this was because she heard the preceptor's comment.
6. I left the room to get something for the preceptor.
7. I returned to the room AGAIN, and the preceptor is now raising her voice to this (albeit, rude) patient, and making stern comments (albeit again, true comments), and actually told the girl "you need to grow up now. take responsibility for yourself." quite harshly. I enjoyed it (even if it was unprofessional), thinking that I was proud of my preceptor for not letting the girl's warning that she "heard us" make her nervous.
8. After the appointment, the NP over a course of two hours immaturely berrated me. As in ignoring my questions or not telling me about our patients' needs", and flat out discussing three separate times how I, ME, Meghan, had said something inappropriate out here that the patient heard and must have pissed her off. On and on and on, all red-faced and condescending. As if I was the one who had been nasty.
WTF!??!?!
What the hell did do? I will admit, I have a huge mouth, AND I have NO RESPECT for a majority of the patients I have seen in my life, because I disagree with their lifestyles. **(the fact that no one in this world has a JOB any more these days, because I don't believe in purposely infecting your children with HIV, because I don't believe in abortions, because I think having 15 STD's is disgusting and irresponsible, and because I believe it's wrong to consciously or irresponsibly become pregnant before marriage, etc.)** I won't deny ever making remarks about certain situations or repeated behavior, but certainly not while I"m being precepted under a microscope, nor before I'm certain the person I'm commenting to shares my pretences. No comments were made here, because I didn't know anything about this girl either way.
It's slightly possible, that when I repeated something the patient said in the room, to my preceptor VERBATIM as we are taught to do, the girl overheard me. Since the phrase the girl said was strange itself, perhaps the girl heard me repeat HER words, and didn't recognize how poorly SHE had said it. Myabe she thought I made it up. However, my preceptor understood that I was repeating exactly what the patient herself said. And she didn't seem surprised or imply that she thought my statement was anything but normal. If she honestly thought something I said was rude she would have reacted there. Therefore it seems extremely unlikely that something I said was the problem, especially since the girl was nice to me and said bye to me on the way out, but was rude to the preceptor and was pissy before I even got into the room in the first place.
So what about my preceptor herself?! I thought what SHE said was true, but inappropriate to say right outside the room. She was right, but she should learn to make sarcastic comments smartly so you don't get overheard or understood. And even IN the room she was so condescending! The preceptor must not have noticed that the girl looked RIGHT at HER when she said "you need thinner walls". And that the girl asnwered all my questions but not the preceptors. And that the girl thanked ME not the preceptor (because I found her extra information and helped her).
Most likely, the preceptor herself was embarassed that I witnessed the debaucle, and displaced or projected the blame onto me to draw the attention off of herself. Like, to confuse me. It sounds paranoid, but this lady fumed about it forever. And if she honestly held the girl in such low esteem as she made it seem before she sent me into the room, why would she care if I said anything (which I didn't but she acted like I did)? Plus, embarassment is stronger and longer than frustration or anger, so when she held on to it that long it started to seem like she was embarassed for herself and couldnt' get over it until she made the point it was not her fault.
Now she's going ot give me a bad rep at that practice, and I need to keep going there for clinicals! It's not the end of the world, but it's annoying me because I hate, HATE being misunderstood and not allowed to get my side of the story out. That's why although I form quick first impressions of people, it's usually the second impression of people that I focus on. I fully believe that people's behaviors can be misunderstood initially-- so long as they can demonstrate that to me. Rambling now.
So apparantly I found the energy to elaborate, lol. Ok I'm over it. Just needed to vent because it's hard for me to not get frustrated when I am misunderstood or blamed!