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[musicizinme]

I'm so overstrung right now because I dont make enough money to pay all of my bills and it is really putting a hurt on me. Especially with the light bill coming up from when Danille was stating with me GAWD i DO NOT want to see that bill! I have to worry about finding another place to live and if Bennie and I are going to be finding a place

Comments

[musicizinme]

I meant to put "getting too old" as in yall are getting too old to have kids. My Dr. told me that my fertility peak will be around the ages of 27-30 because of my endo...I didn't mean to offend you..Yes I knwo denis had enough kids to procreate but really i want kids one day..Im not saying I want them now, but one day,As its going though I think Imight eventually change my mind..Im having more doubts than I ever have but yet i desire it. I dunno if tis ust my clock ticking or what...the problems i sufffer from are not caused by heredtity but the endless shame I have put myself through and amongst other things that have happened..Im starting to go down the road of, this is happening to me as a repercautions of the decisions i made when I was 18-20...all the bad shit i did is cathcing up with me. But seriously I did nto mean to call you old or too old. I was just simply stating that yall are getting to the age where yall wont be able to have kids...I was under the impressiont hat you didnt want any at all so that was thrown out...i know lisa wants em but i dunno if she can have them...im just simply terrified Jennice.
AS far as the family name, i could care less what the last name is, i want to carry on the family genes. At one time I was hoping i would have kids before grandma died. I doubt it will happen so I gave up on that. I wouldn't ask her to try and take care of my kids I dont even like her helping me out because she does SO much for everyone.
No one is "rat racing" I am simply writing what is going through my mind...I am having a VERY hard time with this Jen. I really am..

[jennice]

the problems i sufffer from are not caused by heredtit

Well some of it is heredity. We have a long history of depression and mental issues in our family, just ask. You got a double whammy on top of the other crap. I'm just saying take care of you first before worrying about someone else.
As for me, too old pfft. I never say never to bringing forth my own spawn, just if it happens it happens, if it doesn't I won't be broken up about it. I'm very picky though and any spawn I bring forth will be planned on some level. In the words of Cher in Clueless, "You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet." Too old. Ha. Double Ha. I have a Hollywood mentality when it comes to that stuff, never too old. Too old....Ha. Double ha and then a triple ha ha ha. :)

[musicizinme]

well if you want kids one day I would def. love to see THAT happen! LOL anyways I agree now is not the time for me but one day I want some of my own....gah im tired!