"Can't take my mind..."
Hey everyone!
This post will be cheerier than the last I promise.
Dance show had its last show last night, so a HUGE burdon was taken off my back after that ended. That was just one things that topped it all off, and just added more stress to my life. I mean I know it was a lot of fun and it was a way to just let my emotions go and channel it into something postitive, but between getting ready for that, last minute costume changes, lighting 2 dances, schoolwork and that my intensions on a dance or two changed within the weeks coming up to it, it was just one of those weeks.
However, I do have to thank a few people for helping me through these few weeks:
Micheala, Maddie, Deidre, Cass, Kim, and all my JSC friends: You guys kept me going and tried to keep me unstressed and in a good mood, even if you guys werent. It was funny though that most of us came to our breaking points around the same time. If that doesnt say we're friends than I do not know what. I know my nagging about a certain topic (or person) was annoying to you guys and I apologize. I guess I hate the "rejection" shit and I'm the type of person who takes some things personally, when in reality I should've just faced that facts that I really had less of a chance that I hoped.
Keith, Katie, Alyssa and all my friends and family in PBD: Over break, seeing you at home, in Burlington, or online, just gave me that extra boost in my day. I miss you guys SO much, and it's just making me that more impatient for Summer, where we can really party!
Also during this week, I have had doubts, confusion, and just denial in a lot of things. After really sitting down and just seeing what was there and getting perspectives from people, I know that I just have to sit and let nature take its course. I know that I can do better than him, and I am getting to believe that, slowly but surely. However, theres still that part of me that still thinks that I have a shot, whatever. I know it's gonna take me a bit, but I am getting over it, and him.
This week have really tetred my patience and how to channel my anger, depression, and stress. I sit and read. I write in my notebook. I would rehearse Pajama Game shit. Or I would just dance the shit out of everything! I really think I am getting better in dancing. Ipractice really hard and in some of the pictures I have taken from this week, I only not see just a physical change, but a mental one also. These past few weeks, thanks to my friends and family who love me SO MUCH, have made it bearable and enjoyable in the end. I am, in most part, proud of my dancing, WICKED proud of my lights, and I am just proud at myself for keeping my cool and staying professional and kind when I needed too. I'm not gonna lie, when I saw something that irritated me, I felt like shit, but I put on that mask and I would wait until I took out my anger at something that was not a person or a pillow. I channel it into energy so I could dance the way I did last night, which I thought was FUCKING FANTASTIC! I felt SO great after I was done, and I felt like that was the best performance of my dancing.
I only have one problem with this whole amazing experience: I know I did such a fantastic job, but why doesn't anyone, besides my friends and family, see that? I'm not gonna lie, I had a fantasy where some guy would approach me and just ask me out right then and there, but hey, a girl can dream! :)
This post will be cheerier than the last I promise.
Dance show had its last show last night, so a HUGE burdon was taken off my back after that ended. That was just one things that topped it all off, and just added more stress to my life. I mean I know it was a lot of fun and it was a way to just let my emotions go and channel it into something postitive, but between getting ready for that, last minute costume changes, lighting 2 dances, schoolwork and that my intensions on a dance or two changed within the weeks coming up to it, it was just one of those weeks.
However, I do have to thank a few people for helping me through these few weeks:
Micheala, Maddie, Deidre, Cass, Kim, and all my JSC friends: You guys kept me going and tried to keep me unstressed and in a good mood, even if you guys werent. It was funny though that most of us came to our breaking points around the same time. If that doesnt say we're friends than I do not know what. I know my nagging about a certain topic (or person) was annoying to you guys and I apologize. I guess I hate the "rejection" shit and I'm the type of person who takes some things personally, when in reality I should've just faced that facts that I really had less of a chance that I hoped.
Keith, Katie, Alyssa and all my friends and family in PBD: Over break, seeing you at home, in Burlington, or online, just gave me that extra boost in my day. I miss you guys SO much, and it's just making me that more impatient for Summer, where we can really party!
Also during this week, I have had doubts, confusion, and just denial in a lot of things. After really sitting down and just seeing what was there and getting perspectives from people, I know that I just have to sit and let nature take its course. I know that I can do better than him, and I am getting to believe that, slowly but surely. However, theres still that part of me that still thinks that I have a shot, whatever. I know it's gonna take me a bit, but I am getting over it, and him.
This week have really tetred my patience and how to channel my anger, depression, and stress. I sit and read. I write in my notebook. I would rehearse Pajama Game shit. Or I would just dance the shit out of everything! I really think I am getting better in dancing. Ipractice really hard and in some of the pictures I have taken from this week, I only not see just a physical change, but a mental one also. These past few weeks, thanks to my friends and family who love me SO MUCH, have made it bearable and enjoyable in the end. I am, in most part, proud of my dancing, WICKED proud of my lights, and I am just proud at myself for keeping my cool and staying professional and kind when I needed too. I'm not gonna lie, when I saw something that irritated me, I felt like shit, but I put on that mask and I would wait until I took out my anger at something that was not a person or a pillow. I channel it into energy so I could dance the way I did last night, which I thought was FUCKING FANTASTIC! I felt SO great after I was done, and I felt like that was the best performance of my dancing.
I only have one problem with this whole amazing experience: I know I did such a fantastic job, but why doesn't anyone, besides my friends and family, see that? I'm not gonna lie, I had a fantasy where some guy would approach me and just ask me out right then and there, but hey, a girl can dream! :)