Christmas time. Not one word.
I've been enjoying Christmas so much. Especially considering the circumstance of giving up Sharolynn. Not to imply that she was an addiction. I mean that I lost my faith in her character which is really a huge turn for me. To give up.
Sharolynn and I dated seriously for about three years. We've been through a ton of ups and downs and I was always willing to work it out. I was willing to do anything to hold it together out of love. Sacrificial love.
I finally let go when I realized that no matter what would happen between us, she was only measuring our relationship by how many things went wrong. On top of it all, I was constantly in submission. She would pull these stupid powerplays. She would take control and this time I stopped fighting.
I can admit that deep down, I wanted her to say, "wait."
I really wish that I could've heard that. Some kind of resistance to the end of this thing we built. But maybe she's really okay with it all.
I suppose I'd be more broken up about it if I didn't know so well what she would do in this situation. Including posting stupid blogs about how much contempt for me she has and on Christmas eve displaying sorrow that no one's calling her to say 'merry Christmas.' I knew that it was pointed at me and I didn't cave and I didn't call. I truly didn't want to.
So, now that I've spilled it about how this whole thing went down, I have to declare that I'm not desperate and upset about it. I guess when it gets fractured the whole way down, there's only dust at the end.
Fast-foward:
I've been spending a ton of time with Mandy and I wish could say more. I really want Mandy, but I know in my heart that we need time and that's what keeps me from jumping in. So, I'm really counting on her patience with me. And I'm going to be patient with her.
My students have been so thoughtful and generous. I've received so many gifts from them this year. They've been so kind, even though being unknowing of my struggle with Sharolynn.
This Christmas could've been so colorless but, I've been blessed to have Mandy near me and invitation after invitation from my family. I went to see so many friends on Christmas day. I had enough money to buy a few gifts and enjoy myself this season. God really provided. I should say church family because I've got very little family to speak of. But that's a entire story for another time...
I can testify that this whole experience is truly God giving me peace and love through my friends in such a convoluted time.
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Please know that I'm not a 'bible-thumper.' This is just a thoughtful verse a friend made note of when I was having a hard time in the past. I believe it's all true though.
The only person I know will read this is Mandy so, I hope your Christmas was good and thank you for sharing it with me.
Sharolynn and I dated seriously for about three years. We've been through a ton of ups and downs and I was always willing to work it out. I was willing to do anything to hold it together out of love. Sacrificial love.
I finally let go when I realized that no matter what would happen between us, she was only measuring our relationship by how many things went wrong. On top of it all, I was constantly in submission. She would pull these stupid powerplays. She would take control and this time I stopped fighting.
I can admit that deep down, I wanted her to say, "wait."
I really wish that I could've heard that. Some kind of resistance to the end of this thing we built. But maybe she's really okay with it all.
I suppose I'd be more broken up about it if I didn't know so well what she would do in this situation. Including posting stupid blogs about how much contempt for me she has and on Christmas eve displaying sorrow that no one's calling her to say 'merry Christmas.' I knew that it was pointed at me and I didn't cave and I didn't call. I truly didn't want to.
So, now that I've spilled it about how this whole thing went down, I have to declare that I'm not desperate and upset about it. I guess when it gets fractured the whole way down, there's only dust at the end.
Fast-foward:
I've been spending a ton of time with Mandy and I wish could say more. I really want Mandy, but I know in my heart that we need time and that's what keeps me from jumping in. So, I'm really counting on her patience with me. And I'm going to be patient with her.
My students have been so thoughtful and generous. I've received so many gifts from them this year. They've been so kind, even though being unknowing of my struggle with Sharolynn.
This Christmas could've been so colorless but, I've been blessed to have Mandy near me and invitation after invitation from my family. I went to see so many friends on Christmas day. I had enough money to buy a few gifts and enjoy myself this season. God really provided. I should say church family because I've got very little family to speak of. But that's a entire story for another time...
I can testify that this whole experience is truly God giving me peace and love through my friends in such a convoluted time.
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Please know that I'm not a 'bible-thumper.' This is just a thoughtful verse a friend made note of when I was having a hard time in the past. I believe it's all true though.
The only person I know will read this is Mandy so, I hope your Christmas was good and thank you for sharing it with me.