All Things in Time
I am fighting with my heart to slow it down.
I feel so strongly about Mandy.
I feel like my whole life I've been dating girls and this Mandy is a woman. And not just a woman. A mother. A great mother whose made big sacrifices to do what her heart leads her to do when it comes to her children. A writer that so passionately expresses herself with the written word. A friend that loves deeply and is willing to help others in need. A friend that would make a birthday cake when no one else would. An intellectual. She terrifies me. I know that I can't play games with this woman. She'll call me out in no time.
So, am I immature? Am I so childish that I see her as closer to adulthood than myself? Am I deluding myself again because she's bedazzled me this way?
I think there's something distinctly different going on here and I can't put my finger on it. I'm cautious, but is it because I've been hurt? Maybe it's the children. I really don't want to make an appearance and then be removed because of my stupidity. I'm actually surprised that we haven't fought yet. Maybe she's different.
I am so used to girls being selfish that I can hardly believe that Mandy is real.
So, perhaps this is my hesitation: How are other women different from Mandy? Is Mandy as unique as I would like to believe? She seems to think I'm pretty special. Does she realize that there are superior men out there?
I suppose I could spend all day trying to form a high-scoring word or play the best letters I've got to keep the Scrabble game going...
I'm trying to find the middle. I just need some time.
I feel so strongly about Mandy.
I feel like my whole life I've been dating girls and this Mandy is a woman. And not just a woman. A mother. A great mother whose made big sacrifices to do what her heart leads her to do when it comes to her children. A writer that so passionately expresses herself with the written word. A friend that loves deeply and is willing to help others in need. A friend that would make a birthday cake when no one else would. An intellectual. She terrifies me. I know that I can't play games with this woman. She'll call me out in no time.
So, am I immature? Am I so childish that I see her as closer to adulthood than myself? Am I deluding myself again because she's bedazzled me this way?
I think there's something distinctly different going on here and I can't put my finger on it. I'm cautious, but is it because I've been hurt? Maybe it's the children. I really don't want to make an appearance and then be removed because of my stupidity. I'm actually surprised that we haven't fought yet. Maybe she's different.
I am so used to girls being selfish that I can hardly believe that Mandy is real.
So, perhaps this is my hesitation: How are other women different from Mandy? Is Mandy as unique as I would like to believe? She seems to think I'm pretty special. Does she realize that there are superior men out there?
I suppose I could spend all day trying to form a high-scoring word or play the best letters I've got to keep the Scrabble game going...
I'm trying to find the middle. I just need some time.