A New Existence

[musicbymicah]

I have told Mandy that I'm unwilling to get into a serious romantic relationship.

She appears deeply upset with me at times. More recently she seems to accept my current stance, but the disappointment lingers.

I've tried to explain to her that I feel I would definitely cause deeper and more intense damage by making a commitment to her at this time

Comments

[musicbymicah]

Hey, I'd seriously like to thank you.

This is the first bit of advice that I've been given that I could really apply to the situation. Maybe it's just like everyone else's, but you've put faces on everyone and that makes a difference for me. People are people and I try not to simply feed my dilemmas through my first person experience.

You might be happy to know that I've resolved the situation, painfully as it has been for everyone. I've come clean about what's not been said, though it was incredibly difficult. And I have to thank Mandy for pushing me and challenging me on my hiding from the situation.

I appreciate your time and interest. To me, that's much more than many people are willing to give; to simply communicate a few words. Recently, I've been going through a personal struggle that I've never encountered before. I feel a lot of apathy toward the things that I know I used to care about. I feel like I can't find joy in anything. And what I've done in the scenario described in my blog is evidence of the fight inside me. I know I used to be something different. Hopefully when I return I'll be something better.

Thank you again.

[chayam]

See why she's been my best friend all these years?