A New Existence
I have told Mandy that I'm unwilling to get into a serious romantic relationship.
She appears deeply upset with me at times. More recently she seems to accept my current stance, but the disappointment lingers.
I've tried to explain to her that I feel I would definitely cause deeper and more intense damage by making a commitment to her at this time ( Read more... )
She appears deeply upset with me at times. More recently she seems to accept my current stance, but the disappointment lingers.
I've tried to explain to her that I feel I would definitely cause deeper and more intense damage by making a commitment to her at this time ( Read more... )
I could say, "I love you for this and for that," and those things would be true, but then, this isn't a superficial love as that. I love you truly, my friend, and such a thing doesn't really have explanation. It just is.
My greatest fear is that you'll end up revealing yourself to be like all the men I've known before, Tim and Scott, Rob and Todd, Carl, Eric, Chris...all the people who have hurt and deceived me in some way. (It's a long list, and the prospect terrifies me.) But I already know you are just a man, far from perfect, capable of hurting me. Even if you were as bad as the worst of these, I'd love you.
--Because that's what love is. Nothing can make it go away. It's just there. Sorry, my friend!
I don't love you for how you've helped me see myself. I don't love you for what you do for me. I don't love you because I think you're perfect.
And I do love you even when I'm not happy with you, and even when I feel hurt by you--
because you're my friend, and I expect that to last a lifetime. It's indestructable, this place in my heart where my friends reside.
So I'm worried about nothing. We will always be friends, and God has good things planned for me, and he is where it's all at.
Warm wishes, love and peace--
Mandy
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