fic: What Is And What Should Never Be
Title: What Is And What Should Never Be
Author: Me
Rating: PG-13 to R, depending on how sensitive you are
Pairing: past Eduardo/Mark, mentions of Sean P./Mark; and a couple of surprise pairings that I cannot tell you without giving away the entire story.
Summary: There's a very specific moment in which Mark loses Eduardo forever. He does not really want to be there when it happens, but Dustin needs him and so he goes, knowing he'll never be the same.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the makers of 'The Social Network' or the real Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin. I am making no money with this, whatsoever, and even if I could, I wouldn't. This story is based on the characters in the movie because... I would not want to see the real people naked, for the most part. Title taken from the Led Zeppelin song, which is great and which you should listen to.
"Mark, you can't keep ignoring this."
Mark doesn't like the way Dustin's voice sounds or Dustin's hand on his shoulder, for that matter, but he cannot move. He keeps staring at his cell phone and he wants to put it down, he really does, but for once in his life he does not have the strength to move.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"No."
Dustin runs a hand through his hair, shifting nervously beside him and Mark kind of wants to reach out and push him into a chair. Anything to make Dustin stop acting like this. Watching Dustin worry makes him see that there is, in fact, something to worry about and he wants to ignore that, he wants to forget it.
"Mark, please."
"I said no."
***
The first time Eduardo and Mark had sex wasn't magical. It was a battle of wills because it was always like that with them. There was nothing sweet or romantic about it and when Mark finally had to admit defeat and fall back against the pillows, Eduardo fucked him. Fucked him. Just that. No making love for them.
Mark knew that Eduardo wanted that other kind of sex, the dreamy, sweet variety and he was unable to provide that. It wasn't something he was ready for.
Sometimes he wondered if Eduardo would leave one day when he realised that Mark wasn't sweet or romantic or pretty like the girls Eduardo usually liked.
Eduardo always knew when Mark was in one of those moods and he always kissed away those doubts despite Mark's protests. It was like trying to stroke a feral cat, but it worked for them. For a while.
***
"Mark, we gotta go. You can't wear a hoodie to an event like that. I bought you a suit."
Dustin is back. Mark curls up under his blanket, trying to block out his best friend and possibly the only person on the planet who gets this. Dustin found out about it one night when they were both too drunk to hold back. That was also when Mark found out about Dustin's feelings regarding a mutual friend of theirs. Oh, how ironic...
"I don't want to. Go without me."
"Fuck! Just fuck. Mark, look, I know you're in love with Eduardo. But after nine years... if anything should've happened, don't you think that you'd be in... in his place today?"
Mark knows who Dustin means, but he merely shrugs. He can't care, can't bring himself to worry about anything but himself and his... wounded pride? broken heart? unfinished relationship that he really should be over by now?
"I won't go. You can't make me. Leave."
Dustin grabs him by the back of the neck and spins him around. They're staring at each other, for just a fraction of a second, and then Dustin slaps him. It's a hard slap and it feels surprisingly good.
"Stop acting like this only concerns you, Mark. Don't you think... don't you think that perhaps I need you today because my heart's just about ready to jump out of my chest and run away and die? I can't do this without you. Help me, for fuck's sake."
Mark goes. He knows he has to.
***
Sean Parker made love to Mark. Mark could allow that up to the point where Sean turned out to be just another pathetic douche who really didn't deserve his attention.
But by then it was too late, of course, and he knew Eduardo was lost to him. He'd been lost the second Mark got onto the plane that took him to Palo Alto for the summer.
Of course, Mark wasn't a romantic idiot. He just went on to change the face of the world forever and it felt good. The whole Eduardo thing only really bothered him when he hit 'F5' until his fingers hurt, just to see if Eduardo had posted to his wall or when he got drunk or when he had to look at the pictures on his other friend's wall. That was when he wanted to unfriend them both.
He really should've seen it coming, though. In a way, they were fucking perfect for each other. One driven enough to face Wardo's father, to make him understand that he could not treat his son like he was worthless. One to give his partner strength and romance in a life that was very much ruled by politics and struggle.
Yes, fucking perfect.
***
"I'm happy for you, Chris," Dustin whispers against his best friend's ear and Mark knows it's true.
Eduardo's hand rests lightly on his new husband's waist and Mark glares at the ring sparkling on Eduardo's finger. Chris wasn't supposed to put it there. It's all wrong and yet so fucking perfect he thinks he might have to throw up. Of course he doesn't.
"Congrats."
Then he walks off because he isn't Dustin. He can't pretend he's happy when he's not.
"Mark!"
He doesn't know who said his name. Was it Dustin, who knew what he was going through? Was it Chris, finally, finally understanding?
But no, he's pretty sure it was Eduardo and that's why he doesn't turn around when he walks out of the chapel.
Author: Me
Rating: PG-13 to R, depending on how sensitive you are
Pairing: past Eduardo/Mark, mentions of Sean P./Mark; and a couple of surprise pairings that I cannot tell you without giving away the entire story.
Summary: There's a very specific moment in which Mark loses Eduardo forever. He does not really want to be there when it happens, but Dustin needs him and so he goes, knowing he'll never be the same.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the makers of 'The Social Network' or the real Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin. I am making no money with this, whatsoever, and even if I could, I wouldn't. This story is based on the characters in the movie because... I would not want to see the real people naked, for the most part. Title taken from the Led Zeppelin song, which is great and which you should listen to.
"Mark, you can't keep ignoring this."
Mark doesn't like the way Dustin's voice sounds or Dustin's hand on his shoulder, for that matter, but he cannot move. He keeps staring at his cell phone and he wants to put it down, he really does, but for once in his life he does not have the strength to move.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"No."
Dustin runs a hand through his hair, shifting nervously beside him and Mark kind of wants to reach out and push him into a chair. Anything to make Dustin stop acting like this. Watching Dustin worry makes him see that there is, in fact, something to worry about and he wants to ignore that, he wants to forget it.
"Mark, please."
"I said no."
***
The first time Eduardo and Mark had sex wasn't magical. It was a battle of wills because it was always like that with them. There was nothing sweet or romantic about it and when Mark finally had to admit defeat and fall back against the pillows, Eduardo fucked him. Fucked him. Just that. No making love for them.
Mark knew that Eduardo wanted that other kind of sex, the dreamy, sweet variety and he was unable to provide that. It wasn't something he was ready for.
Sometimes he wondered if Eduardo would leave one day when he realised that Mark wasn't sweet or romantic or pretty like the girls Eduardo usually liked.
Eduardo always knew when Mark was in one of those moods and he always kissed away those doubts despite Mark's protests. It was like trying to stroke a feral cat, but it worked for them. For a while.
***
"Mark, we gotta go. You can't wear a hoodie to an event like that. I bought you a suit."
Dustin is back. Mark curls up under his blanket, trying to block out his best friend and possibly the only person on the planet who gets this. Dustin found out about it one night when they were both too drunk to hold back. That was also when Mark found out about Dustin's feelings regarding a mutual friend of theirs. Oh, how ironic...
"I don't want to. Go without me."
"Fuck! Just fuck. Mark, look, I know you're in love with Eduardo. But after nine years... if anything should've happened, don't you think that you'd be in... in his place today?"
Mark knows who Dustin means, but he merely shrugs. He can't care, can't bring himself to worry about anything but himself and his... wounded pride? broken heart? unfinished relationship that he really should be over by now?
"I won't go. You can't make me. Leave."
Dustin grabs him by the back of the neck and spins him around. They're staring at each other, for just a fraction of a second, and then Dustin slaps him. It's a hard slap and it feels surprisingly good.
"Stop acting like this only concerns you, Mark. Don't you think... don't you think that perhaps I need you today because my heart's just about ready to jump out of my chest and run away and die? I can't do this without you. Help me, for fuck's sake."
Mark goes. He knows he has to.
***
Sean Parker made love to Mark. Mark could allow that up to the point where Sean turned out to be just another pathetic douche who really didn't deserve his attention.
But by then it was too late, of course, and he knew Eduardo was lost to him. He'd been lost the second Mark got onto the plane that took him to Palo Alto for the summer.
Of course, Mark wasn't a romantic idiot. He just went on to change the face of the world forever and it felt good. The whole Eduardo thing only really bothered him when he hit 'F5' until his fingers hurt, just to see if Eduardo had posted to his wall or when he got drunk or when he had to look at the pictures on his other friend's wall. That was when he wanted to unfriend them both.
He really should've seen it coming, though. In a way, they were fucking perfect for each other. One driven enough to face Wardo's father, to make him understand that he could not treat his son like he was worthless. One to give his partner strength and romance in a life that was very much ruled by politics and struggle.
Yes, fucking perfect.
***
"I'm happy for you, Chris," Dustin whispers against his best friend's ear and Mark knows it's true.
Eduardo's hand rests lightly on his new husband's waist and Mark glares at the ring sparkling on Eduardo's finger. Chris wasn't supposed to put it there. It's all wrong and yet so fucking perfect he thinks he might have to throw up. Of course he doesn't.
"Congrats."
Then he walks off because he isn't Dustin. He can't pretend he's happy when he's not.
"Mark!"
He doesn't know who said his name. Was it Dustin, who knew what he was going through? Was it Chris, finally, finally understanding?
But no, he's pretty sure it was Eduardo and that's why he doesn't turn around when he walks out of the chapel.