Snowburn
Elizabeth, my co-worker, said that you can get the worst sunburn ever during winter. It is scientifically proven. Because there's so much snow around you, the snow acts as one huge reflector and directs all the sun's rays towards you. Quite ironic that you can get burned in the coldest of climates.
I did not believe her. How can a -30 degree windchill burn you. It's preposterous. My car's lock froze up and I could not get inside without a great big heave and it still does not get sunburn.
I decided to test it myself on the highest elevation in Chicago. I stood up and saw everything around me. The sun was flashing right above. The snow was blinding. At first I thought I was just getting dizzy because of the altitude. I was so high up on the prairies of the Midwest. But I knew the moment I sneezed that Elizabeth was right. I sneezed out most of my blood and my liver. Pretty soon I was feeling faint. I felt myself spiraling down.
I am melting.
Am melting.
Melting.
I'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog too.