woke up in kansas from a dream of burning ships
So I just watched Justice League: Doom, otherwise known as Batman is a dick to the JLA but Clark loves him anyway. also known as, the one where Nathan Fillion voices Hal Jordan and it is very distracting.
Okay, so the thing is, Batman isn't wrong about having contingency plans for taking out the JLA if they should go bad/be mind-controlled? But he's still a big huge jerk about it to everyone.
Dear Batman:
You catch more flies with honey. It's an aphorism for a reason. Also, it is not that hard not to be a jerk. You're smart enough to figure out how.
axiomatically,
me
I don't know why they had Hal Jordan and Barry Allen instead of John Stewart and Wally West, especially since they had Rosenbaum as Flash anyway, so I just kept thinking of him as Wally ANYWAY (and JL/JLU Wally is the BEST. DON'T EVEN FRONT. I was amused at the lightning bolts on his costume that framed his package. That seems like much more of a Wally thing to do, imo.). But Nathan Fillion was very distracting, and even he couldn't really make me like Hal, though it was a valiant effort. But ugh, the Star Sapphire (? is that her name?) backstory is just ugh. Yes, he broke her heart so...she turned into a violent criminal? WHAT?
I did like that we got Cyborg as an important part of the plot and that he becomes a JLA member at the end. I guess this was written with the stupid reboot in mind? that's why Hal and Barry instead of John and Wally?
Anyway, Vandal Savage is trying to recreate the conditions where Superman becomes his boyfriend. Or something. That guy just wants to rule the world and he doesn't care how he gets there, but eventually he realizes that he just needs to hang out and be zen and have makeouts with Superman. Unfortunately by the time that happens, he's destroyed the world, so it's a good thing the JLA stopped him here.
Seriously, I think if Superman could just hug everybody in the DCU, there would never be any crime. (And then he would have to hug Bruce extra, to make up for the fact that there would be no crimefighting. [Dick would perform the same function for Jason.])
Meanwhile, back at Wayne Manor, Bane in uncharacteristically dumb and only buries Batman alive with the corpses of his parents, rather than actually, you know, KILLING him and THEN burying him, which would be the smart thing to do. Or maybe I'm giving Bane too much credit? But I thought he was cleverer than that. The line "Last time I broke the Bat, this time I break the man," certainly seemed to give credence to that. I mean, HE'S BATMAN. MAKE SURE HE'S DEAD BEFORE YOU TAUNT HIM OR HE WILL FUCK YOU UP. IJS.
(I also laughed at Flash: "He's still embarrassed about last time" Superman: "He sucker punched me!")
Also, in the climactic fight, I kept waiting for everyone to switch up opponents, because obviously that is the way you are supposed to win these fights, but it didn't happen. Whatever. I don't really watch for the fight scenes.
And then the very end, there's the scene where Clark gives Bruce a [kryptonite] ring, and Bruce accepts it, but then he doesn't even smile! Even though Clark has just proposed shown him the ultimate measure of trust!
Dear Bruce,
When you get engaged to Clark, the least you could do is smile, even if hugging is beyond you. This is why no one likes you.
yours in friendly advice,
me.
So this meant that I had to interrupt the usual stream of texts about Steve Rogers to let
devildoll know that Alfred does not approve of Bruce's NO HUGS ONLY JUSTICE philosophy (Dear Bruce, this is really why no one likes you. Hugs, man. They make better heroes. IJS.), and also that he really wants to plan a wedding. There is wine in the cellar Thomas Wayne laid down specifically for that purpose! And she said that Alfred has more recipes for tiny sandwiches than you could shake a stick at! And we're pretty sure Dick will keep Damian out of the vault where Bruce keeps the kryptonite, so despite several attempts, he won't actually be able to kill the groom.
We definitely amuse ourselves.
Anyway, this movie was predictable but enjoyable, though honestly I don't think anything will ever live up to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies or Superman/Batman: Apokolips. (I mean, the former is basically a Superman/Batman ship manifesto and the latter had Wonder Woman and Big Barda being seriously slashy with each other and also kicking a metric fuckton of ass together. Those are hard things to beat.)
***
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/436201.html.
people have commented there.
Okay, so the thing is, Batman isn't wrong about having contingency plans for taking out the JLA if they should go bad/be mind-controlled? But he's still a big huge jerk about it to everyone.
Dear Batman:
You catch more flies with honey. It's an aphorism for a reason. Also, it is not that hard not to be a jerk. You're smart enough to figure out how.
axiomatically,
me
I don't know why they had Hal Jordan and Barry Allen instead of John Stewart and Wally West, especially since they had Rosenbaum as Flash anyway, so I just kept thinking of him as Wally ANYWAY (and JL/JLU Wally is the BEST. DON'T EVEN FRONT. I was amused at the lightning bolts on his costume that framed his package. That seems like much more of a Wally thing to do, imo.). But Nathan Fillion was very distracting, and even he couldn't really make me like Hal, though it was a valiant effort. But ugh, the Star Sapphire (? is that her name?) backstory is just ugh. Yes, he broke her heart so...she turned into a violent criminal? WHAT?
I did like that we got Cyborg as an important part of the plot and that he becomes a JLA member at the end. I guess this was written with the stupid reboot in mind? that's why Hal and Barry instead of John and Wally?
Anyway, Vandal Savage is trying to recreate the conditions where Superman becomes his boyfriend. Or something. That guy just wants to rule the world and he doesn't care how he gets there, but eventually he realizes that he just needs to hang out and be zen and have makeouts with Superman. Unfortunately by the time that happens, he's destroyed the world, so it's a good thing the JLA stopped him here.
Seriously, I think if Superman could just hug everybody in the DCU, there would never be any crime. (And then he would have to hug Bruce extra, to make up for the fact that there would be no crimefighting. [Dick would perform the same function for Jason.])
Meanwhile, back at Wayne Manor, Bane in uncharacteristically dumb and only buries Batman alive with the corpses of his parents, rather than actually, you know, KILLING him and THEN burying him, which would be the smart thing to do. Or maybe I'm giving Bane too much credit? But I thought he was cleverer than that. The line "Last time I broke the Bat, this time I break the man," certainly seemed to give credence to that. I mean, HE'S BATMAN. MAKE SURE HE'S DEAD BEFORE YOU TAUNT HIM OR HE WILL FUCK YOU UP. IJS.
(I also laughed at Flash: "He's still embarrassed about last time" Superman: "He sucker punched me!")
Also, in the climactic fight, I kept waiting for everyone to switch up opponents, because obviously that is the way you are supposed to win these fights, but it didn't happen. Whatever. I don't really watch for the fight scenes.
And then the very end, there's the scene where Clark gives Bruce a [kryptonite] ring, and Bruce accepts it, but then he doesn't even smile! Even though Clark has just proposed shown him the ultimate measure of trust!
Dear Bruce,
When you get engaged to Clark, the least you could do is smile, even if hugging is beyond you. This is why no one likes you.
yours in friendly advice,
me.
So this meant that I had to interrupt the usual stream of texts about Steve Rogers to let
devildoll know that Alfred does not approve of Bruce's NO HUGS ONLY JUSTICE philosophy (Dear Bruce, this is really why no one likes you. Hugs, man. They make better heroes. IJS.), and also that he really wants to plan a wedding. There is wine in the cellar Thomas Wayne laid down specifically for that purpose! And she said that Alfred has more recipes for tiny sandwiches than you could shake a stick at! And we're pretty sure Dick will keep Damian out of the vault where Bruce keeps the kryptonite, so despite several attempts, he won't actually be able to kill the groom.
We definitely amuse ourselves.
Anyway, this movie was predictable but enjoyable, though honestly I don't think anything will ever live up to Superman/Batman: Public Enemies or Superman/Batman: Apokolips. (I mean, the former is basically a Superman/Batman ship manifesto and the latter had Wonder Woman and Big Barda being seriously slashy with each other and also kicking a metric fuckton of ass together. Those are hard things to beat.)
***
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/436201.html.
people have commented there.