i don't have to fear it
You guys, I don't understand how badfic is bad in exactly the same ways in EVERY SINGLE FANDOM I'VE EVER READ. To wit:
= The other man, the older man, the taller man, the blonder man etc. - just how many people are in this story anyway? And why are they thinking of themselves/people they know in these terms?
Epithets! DO NOT WANT! Especially the ones that want to be Homeric but never make it: 'the green-eyed hunter,' 'the dark blonde transgenic' etc. are no 'swift-footed Achilles' or 'grey-eyed Athena,' I tell you what.
= emerald/sapphire/chocolate orbs - why do they have gemstones (or chocolate) in their eyes?
= lustrous obsidian/raven/fiery/burnished copper locks - *hands* IDEK
= screaming, shrieking, shrilling, gritting, keening, mewling, husking (dear god, if you are not shucking corn, please to not be using "husk" as a verb; this has rapidly moved up my list of pet peeves), purring, growling, etc. etc.
Occasional use of speaking words other than said/asked/replied/answered/responded is good. You want them to mean something in the narrative, though, you want them to stand out and tell the reader something. Having every speaking tag be something different is just... it renders them all meaningless and hilarious. (Not to mention that I never find screaming during sex erotic in stories - it makes it sound painful, and generally that's not what the writer is going for there. ALSO on the 'that sounds painful, not sexy' list: stripping someone's cock. Ouch! I don't even have one and it makes me cross my legs in sympathy. And the malapropism "lathed" for "laved" ["laved" is another word to use sparingly, if at all, but it is most definitely not the same thing as "lathed."])
I mean, okay, yes all fandoms have their own specific brands of badness (please tell me that surprise!songfic has never migrated beyond Dark Angel; it's horrifying enough there), but somehow badfic always has these things in common! I know I've committed some of them myself over the years, so I guess some of it is just newbie-writerness that never gets corrected.
The best explanation for why epithets are so irritating, from a technical standpoint, is that they're POV breaks. Dean wouldn't think of himself as "the green-eyed hunter" even if someone else might describe him that way; he certainly wouldn't think of Sam as "the other man" or "the taller man". If he wasn't using Sam's name, he'd refer to him as "my brother." I mean, okay, when I talk to my siblings, we sometimes identify ourselves that way, "Hey, it's your sister, call me back." [clearly we expect Dom to know which sister *snerk* and he usually does.] My brother-in-law refers to my sister as "My wife" in conversation all the time, but my sister rarely calls him "My husband" when she talks about him. Notice these things - they can be facets of characterization when used well, but for god's sake, your POV character is probably not going to talk about their chocolate orbs being filled with crystal tears [especially if your POV character is Max Guevara, for example].
*waves hands*
I know I'm just preaching to the choir here, but man, it never fails. Every fandom I've ever read in, these things pop up. It's irritating when it isn't ludicrously funny - it makes me sad and cranky whenever I see a story that could be really good otherwise falling prey to these things.
obdisclaimer: obviously this is all my opinion. if you like stories with epithets and/or gemstone eyes and/or POV breaks, your mileage obviously varies.
***
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/198106.html.
people have commented there.
= The other man, the older man, the taller man, the blonder man etc. - just how many people are in this story anyway? And why are they thinking of themselves/people they know in these terms?
Epithets! DO NOT WANT! Especially the ones that want to be Homeric but never make it: 'the green-eyed hunter,' 'the dark blonde transgenic' etc. are no 'swift-footed Achilles' or 'grey-eyed Athena,' I tell you what.
= emerald/sapphire/chocolate orbs - why do they have gemstones (or chocolate) in their eyes?
= lustrous obsidian/raven/fiery/burnished copper locks - *hands* IDEK
= screaming, shrieking, shrilling, gritting, keening, mewling, husking (dear god, if you are not shucking corn, please to not be using "husk" as a verb; this has rapidly moved up my list of pet peeves), purring, growling, etc. etc.
Occasional use of speaking words other than said/asked/replied/answered/responded is good. You want them to mean something in the narrative, though, you want them to stand out and tell the reader something. Having every speaking tag be something different is just... it renders them all meaningless and hilarious. (Not to mention that I never find screaming during sex erotic in stories - it makes it sound painful, and generally that's not what the writer is going for there. ALSO on the 'that sounds painful, not sexy' list: stripping someone's cock. Ouch! I don't even have one and it makes me cross my legs in sympathy. And the malapropism "lathed" for "laved" ["laved" is another word to use sparingly, if at all, but it is most definitely not the same thing as "lathed."])
I mean, okay, yes all fandoms have their own specific brands of badness (please tell me that surprise!songfic has never migrated beyond Dark Angel; it's horrifying enough there), but somehow badfic always has these things in common! I know I've committed some of them myself over the years, so I guess some of it is just newbie-writerness that never gets corrected.
The best explanation for why epithets are so irritating, from a technical standpoint, is that they're POV breaks. Dean wouldn't think of himself as "the green-eyed hunter" even if someone else might describe him that way; he certainly wouldn't think of Sam as "the other man" or "the taller man". If he wasn't using Sam's name, he'd refer to him as "my brother." I mean, okay, when I talk to my siblings, we sometimes identify ourselves that way, "Hey, it's your sister, call me back." [clearly we expect Dom to know which sister *snerk* and he usually does.] My brother-in-law refers to my sister as "My wife" in conversation all the time, but my sister rarely calls him "My husband" when she talks about him. Notice these things - they can be facets of characterization when used well, but for god's sake, your POV character is probably not going to talk about their chocolate orbs being filled with crystal tears [especially if your POV character is Max Guevara, for example].
*waves hands*
I know I'm just preaching to the choir here, but man, it never fails. Every fandom I've ever read in, these things pop up. It's irritating when it isn't ludicrously funny - it makes me sad and cranky whenever I see a story that could be really good otherwise falling prey to these things.
obdisclaimer: obviously this is all my opinion. if you like stories with epithets and/or gemstone eyes and/or POV breaks, your mileage obviously varies.
***
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/198106.html.
people have commented there.